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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows how energy is produced from coal. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how energy is produced from coal. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The picture displays the
process
Use synonyms
 of energy production using coal.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is a man-made, eight-step, and linear
process
Use synonyms
. It begins with coal delivery using tracks and ends with electricity production. The electricity that will be produced can be used to operate the generators that have been used throughout the
processo
Correct your spelling
process
. The
process
Use synonyms
 starts with inserting the coal into the furnace
together with
Linking Words
 oxygen. After that, the produced
gas
Use synonyms
 will go through a
process
Use synonyms
 of CO2, Mercury, and sulfur removal.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the purified syngas will be pumped into a
gas
Use synonyms
 turbine which is operated by an electric
generator
Use synonyms
. The
gas
Use synonyms
 turbine will pump the purified
gas
Use synonyms
 into a heat recovery
steam
Use synonyms
generator
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 recovery
steam
Use synonyms
generator
Use synonyms
 will produce
steam
Use synonyms
 and flue gases.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
steam
Use synonyms
 will be used to switch the
steam
Use synonyms
 turbine which in turn moves the electric
generator
Use synonyms
. The electricity that has been produced, can be used to operate the
generator
Use synonyms
 that has been used in the
gas
Use synonyms
 Pumping
process
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, gas, generator, steam with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • combustion
  • thermal energy
  • boil
  • turbines
  • mechanical energy
  • generator
  • electrical energy
  • transmitted
  • power lines
  • furnace
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