hildren should take part time jobs in their free time or they should totally focus on their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
Use synonyms
should do partial
work
Use synonyms
in their leisure time or they should totally pay attention to their
studies
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss and articulate both the
aspects
Change noun form
aspect's
aspects'
show examples
merits and demerits
along with
Linking Words
relevant examples and a logical conclusion.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
initially
Linking Words
, nowadays, it is difficult to study
due to
Linking Words
life expenses and high educational fees. In most countries, the
education
Use synonyms
cost gradually increasing.
For example
Linking Words
, many families can't afford to pay
education
Use synonyms
fees, and
children
Use synonyms
in different countries are looking for jobs
while
Linking Words
studying just to balance their lives.
In other words
Linking Words
, A child can either study or
work
Use synonyms
, in India more than half the population is struggling the reason
education
Use synonyms
is exorbitant.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, individuals say that
children
Use synonyms
should totally concentrate on their
studies
Use synonyms
. Researchers advised that
children
Use synonyms
who
work
Use synonyms
and study can't achieve much in their
studies
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
who completely focus on their
studies
Use synonyms
they got high grades.
For instance
Linking Words
, the government built schools, colleges and universities free of charge and those who bring high marks they given awards and scholarships to continue higher
education
Use synonyms
in any other country. In a nutshell, it is fundamental for
children
Use synonyms
to focus on their
studies
Use synonyms
rather than
work
Use synonyms
partially, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge companies can help the
children
Use synonyms
financially to reach their goals.
Submitted by ismailalmarri0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion). Although you have these elements, transitions between ideas can be smoother to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Expand on your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen your points and make them more convincing.
General
Avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Careful proofreading can help you catch these and improve the overall readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay topic is clearly understood and you have addressed both sides of the argument. This shows a good understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and offers a definitive stance on the issue, which is crucial for a strong essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: