hildren should take part time jobs in their free time or they should totally focus on their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?
Children
should do partial work
in their leisure time or they should totally pay attention to their studies
. This
essay will discuss and articulate both the aspects
merits and demerits Change noun form
aspect's
aspects'
along with
relevant examples and a logical conclusion.
To begin
with, initially
, nowadays, it is difficult to study due to
life expenses and high educational fees. In most countries, the education
cost gradually increasing. For example
, many families can't afford to pay education
fees, and children
in different countries are looking for jobs while
studying just to balance their lives. In other words
, A child can either study or work
, in India more than half the population is struggling the reason education
is exorbitant.
On the other hand
, individuals say that children
should totally concentrate on their studies
. Researchers advised that children
who work
and study can't achieve much in their studies
, whereas
, children
who completely focus on their studies
they got high grades. For instance
, the government built schools, colleges and universities free of charge and those who bring high marks they given awards and scholarships to continue higher education
in any other country.
In a nutshell, it is fundamental for children
to focus on their studies
rather than work
partially, and the
huge companies can help the Correct article usage
apply
children
financially to reach their goals.Submitted by ismailalmarri0 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion). Although you have these elements, transitions between ideas can be smoother to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Expand on your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen your points and make them more convincing.
General
Avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Careful proofreading can help you catch these and improve the overall readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay topic is clearly understood and you have addressed both sides of the argument. This shows a good understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and offers a definitive stance on the issue, which is crucial for a strong essay.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...