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Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry payment and land. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? New irrigation methods create und land soil ercasion.

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #payment #land #case #irrigation #methods #soil #ercasion
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It is an irrefutable fact that, in the contemporary
world
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, agriculture plays
an
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a
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 crucial role in the survival of individuals.
Although
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, in the present
world
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 lot of methods are used to increase the
land
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 production capacity, many people around the
world
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 still face hunger.
Such
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 a trend,
bring
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brings
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 about various issues, which demand immediate consideration.
This
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 essay will analyze the reasons and the solutions
of
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for
show examples
this
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 trend
along with
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 examples in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are several
reason
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reasons
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 why advancement in agriculture has become
such
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 a significant issue. One of the main
cause
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causes
show examples
 is cultivation technologies,
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use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of new cultivation machines to save the total cost of plantation is pressing and affects the environment and public at
major
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a major
the major
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 level. These techniques
reduces
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reduce
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 the demand
of
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for
show examples
 human
labor
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labour
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, which contributes to
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 unemployment rate,
as a result
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, people have no money to buy food.
In addition
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 to that, nowadays farmers are using
huge
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a huge
the huge
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 number of chemicals on the
land
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, these factors are highly contributing
in
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to
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 soil erosion, and
due to
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 that, there is
huge
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a huge
the huge
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 reduction in the
land
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 production capacity.
For instance
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, as per
research
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the research
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of
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by
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 Cambridge University, 35%
land
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 of
the
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in the
show examples
world
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 is useless now because of
soul
Correct your spelling
soil
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 erosion and
this
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 happens because of high advancement in
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
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 sector after 1998. Despite these challenges, effective solutions can be implemented to mitigate these problems.
However
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, certain measures are suggested to counter the escalation of
this
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 trend.
To begin
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 with, the best solution for
this
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 problem is strict policies of government. To explain, authorities need to make some rules which
limits
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limit
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 the
use
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 of
chemical
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chemicals
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 on the
land
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while
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 plantation of different crops.
For example
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, in India, if any farmer
used
Wrong verb form
uses
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 more than one
packed
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pack
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 of urea in 1 acre are accountable for
huge
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a huge
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 fine and punishment.
Moreover
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, different researches need to be conducted which
canbe
Correct your spelling
can be
 helpful to grow the
land
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 capacity.
To conclude
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,
although
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 the
use
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 of different machines and dangerous
chemical
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chemicals
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 on the
land
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create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 huge hindrances for human
being
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beings
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, but implementation g proposed solution like
problems
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problem
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 guidelines and
researches
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research
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, definitely help
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use
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 to overcome these setbacks.
Submitted by arshkaurbrar on

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coherence cohesion
Some ideas are somewhat repetitive. Try to introduce more varied points to strengthen your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Use more linking phrases to ensure a smooth transition between ideas.
task achievement
Clarify and expand upon some of your points. More specific examples can help illustrate your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, and ensure your sentences are clearly structured. This will make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which encapsulate the main argument nicely.
task achievement
The essay addresses the tasks fully, discussing both causes and solutions of hunger despite agricultural advancements.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant to the topic and generally well-expressed.
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