Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Sugar
level
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
prepackaged
food
indeed
Add a missing verb
is indeed
show examples
high compared to natural
sugar
contained in fruits or vegetables. Too much consumed canned
food
and drink
products
would cause
people
many
health
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
in the near future.
Therefore
,
this
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
discuss whether processed
food
with
Correct article usage
a high-level
show examples
high-level
Correct your spelling
high level
show examples
of
sugar
should be made more high-priced in order to encourage
people
to consume less
sugar
.
To begin
with, fabricated
sugar
contained in processed
food
is likely
endanger
Add the particle
to endanger
show examples
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
body.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
Unfortunately,
show examples
many
people
still do not know how many grams of
sugar
carried
Add a missing verb
are carried
show examples
within prepackaged
goods
.
Due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
delicious taste and good
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
these sugary
products
made
Verb problem
apply
show examples
,
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children to elderly
people
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
voluntarily and continuously consume high
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
sugar
Change preposition
of sugar
show examples
in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, the education
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the possible
health
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
done by the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should suffice to make
people
reduce their
sugar
ingestion.
Hence
, thats not
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
, majority of
people
still ignore these
health
risks–including high blood pressure, obesity, and even diabetes–and continue to eat sugary
goods
, for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
reason that they still do not feel their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
damaged by these
sugar
products
.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
solution is to make sweetened
products
more expensive by
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
its
Change the word
the
show examples
company’s tax. By applying
this
regulation, the fabricated beverages and drinks corporation will evaluate their business and profoundly will come to a conclusion, which is reducing
their
Change the word
the
show examples
non-healthy
sugar
level
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
products
.
In addition
, if these
corporates
Replace the word
corporations
show examples
ignore
this
regulation and continue to sell their
goods
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
additional
Add an article
an additional
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
, undoubtedly
this
would
backfired
Change the verb form
backfire
show examples
them
Change preposition
on them
show examples
. Higher
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
demands
Correct subject-verb agreement
demand
show examples
more money from the consumers,
for
Correct word choice
and for
show examples
that reason
people
would retreat
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
desire to consume
such
pricy
products
.
Thus
, residents would unconsciously eat less
sugar
.
To sum up
,
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
the price of fabricated sugary
products
is one of the
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
that can be applied to support a healthy diet for the residents. Education and champaign of
health
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
impacted by
sweteened
Correct your spelling
sweetened
goods
are
another solution
Fix the agreement mistake
other solutions
show examples
that can be done by the government, but the impact would not
sufficient
Add a missing verb
be sufficient
show examples
due to
people
do not feel the practical
health
damage–
moreover
for children to adult consumers.
Accordingly
,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
the
products
more expensive to purchase will make
majority
Add an article
a majority
the majority
show examples
of
people
think twice whether to shop
these
Change preposition
for these
show examples
sweetened
goods
is worth
or
Correct pronoun usage
it or
show examples
not.
Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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