IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The large number of private cars on the road in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the development of public transportation in order to solve this problem. Others think it is better to spend money for the development of electric and other types of cars that may cause pollution. Discuss both views and give your won opinion.

#cars #road #parts #world #pollution #people #governments #money #development #transportation
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The large number of
automobile
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automobiles
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 on the road leads to many problems and contributes to issues like global warming and abuse. Some folk think that the ministry should spend wealth on public
transport
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 to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. At the same time, some communities think that it is better to spend
money
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 on electric vehicles which can minimize
pollution
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. I think that it is better to spend
money
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 on electric cars.
According to
Linking Words
 some
crowd
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crowds
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, the power should spend more capital on local transportation in order to minimize deterioration. By working on local transportation, more people will use the local shipment
instead
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 of using their own means of
transport
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 it will help our environment to heal and to be healthy.With the progress of good local
transport
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 use of private machines for
transport
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 will be minimized.
For example
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, People in London do not use their private
automobile
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automobiles
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 because the
authority
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authorities
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 worked very hard on their local
transport
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 and
as a result
Linking Words
, the surroundings of London are very clean and
pollution
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-free. Some individuals think that it is better to spend
money
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 on the development of electric vehicles because they do not produce much
pollution
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as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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do not exert any type of poisonous smoke into the surroundings. Electric cars can minimize air deterioration and sound
pollution
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, Texas is a very clean and
pollution
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-free state because the government of
Texes
Correct your spelling
Texas
 has spent a lot of
money
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 on the advancement of electric vehicles just to keep Texes clean. My opinion regarding spending
fund
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funds
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 on the evolution of local transit or electric machines is that the law should spend
money
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 on the development of electric cars
instead
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 of local transportation because local transit
also
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 produces
pollution
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 no matter what we do.
Submitted by Saad Kamal on

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task achievement
Make sure to address both views more thoroughly and balance your discussion of public transportation and electric cars.
task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines both arguments before presenting your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear statement of the writer's opinion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph addresses a distinct point of view, showing organization.
task achievement
The examples used (e.g., London and Texas) are relevant and help to illustrate the points being made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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