IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that children should start school at early very early age, but others believe that children should go to school until they are older.Disscuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is an irrefutable fact that learning is a life-long process. There is an argument about whether
kids
Use synonyms
 should start their learning path at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early
age
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 or wait until they are more
matured
Change the form of the verb
mature
show examples
. The two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 argument will be
throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
 analysed and discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion. Looking
initially
Linking Words
 at the point supporting that
kids
Use synonyms
 should start
school
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 as soon as
posible
Correct your spelling
possible
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
, there are some benefits that can be envisioned. Starting
school
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 early can provide
children
Use synonyms
 with a strong education foundation and allow them to develop
critial
Correct your spelling
critical
 social skills from a young
age
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
children
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 in early
day care
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daycare
show examples
 will be more active, gain more
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
 and
showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 their
communitive
Correct your spelling
communicative
show examples
 ability earlier than those who stay at home with their
parents
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.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, with the burden of finance on
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 nuclear family nowadays,
parents
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 can
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 from sending their
kids
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 to
school
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 early to have more
time
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 for work and
fund
Fix the infinitive
to fund
show examples
 the
family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
 needs. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, there are
also
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 some drawbacks of
this
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 discussion that many people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
children
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 can start
school
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 when reaching a proper
age
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.
Firstly
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, sending a
kid
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 to
school
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 early meaning they will spend less
time
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 with their
parents
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, especially at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early
age
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.
This
Linking Words
 will result in stress and burnout for some
children
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 who may not be ready to leave their
parents
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 and
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 in need of family care.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the growing of a child is a natural process and some ability cannot be
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
 at
school
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 but should be considered as a responsibility of the
parents
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.
For example
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, among a group of people,
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kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 should
learns
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 how to identify family members and who are strangers that they should not be
interatived
Correct your spelling
integrated
interactive
 to.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, many subjects nowadays are designed for
kids
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 that reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a proper
age
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 and they will learn
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
efficiency
Replace the word
efficiently
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that specific class only. Some subjects like singing, dancing and drawing are designed for
Use synonyms
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 in junior classes,
while
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 sciences
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
like math,
physic
Fix the agreement mistake
physics
show examples
, herbology, and many more are aiming for higher classes. In conclusion, the two sides of the
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 concerning many benefits and drawbacks.
However
Linking Words
, after
thorough
Add an article
a thorough
show examples
 analysis of both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the idea of
send
Change the verb form
sending
show examples
 the
kid
Use synonyms
 to
school
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 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 very early
age
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 cannot be supported. As learning is a
long-live
Correct your spelling
long-lived
show examples
 process, growing up is another one that should not be ignored. It is suggested that we should invest more
time
Use synonyms
 caring for our
kids
Use synonyms
 and give our
children
Use synonyms
 more
time
Use synonyms
 to enjoy their childhood.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use topic sentences to guide the reader through the argument. This will improve the essay's logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your transitions between ideas and paragraphs to help make the essay more cohesive. Phrases like 'On the other hand' should be used more accurately within the context.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Check for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes such as 'communitive' (communicative), 'teached' (taught), and 'interatived' (interacted). A few minor errors are fine, but too many can affect clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, setting the stage and summarizing the argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively discusses both viewpoints, making a balanced argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational foundation
  • social skills
  • intellectual growth
  • creativity
  • structured learning environments
  • stress and burnout
  • emotionally and socially
  • well-rounded educational experience
  • formal school system
  • academic performance
  • anxiety
  • individual needs
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