Some people think that children should start school at early very early age, but others believe that children should go to school until they are older.Disscuss both views and give your opinion.
It is an irrefutable fact that learning is a life-long process. There is an argument about whether
kids
should start their learning path at the
early Correct article usage
an
age
or wait until they are more matured
. The two Change the form of the verb
mature
side
of Change to a plural noun
sides
this
argument will be throughly
analysed and discussed in Correct your spelling
thoroughly
this
essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion.
Looking initially
at the point supporting that kids
should start school
as soon as posible
Correct your spelling
possible
in
Change preposition
at
their
early Change the word
an
age
, there are some benefits that can be envisioned. Starting school
early can provide children
with a strong education foundation and allow them to develop critial
social skills from a young Correct your spelling
critical
age
. For instance
, children
in early day care
will be more active, gain more Correct your spelling
daycare
confident
and Replace the word
confidence
showing
their Wrong verb form
show
communitive
ability earlier than those who stay at home with their Correct your spelling
communicative
parents
. Futhermore
, with the burden of finance on Correct your spelling
Furthermore
young
nuclear family nowadays, Correct article usage
the young
parents
can be benefited
from sending their Wrong verb form
benefit
kids
to school
early to have more time
for work and fund
the Fix the infinitive
to fund
family
needs.
On the other Change noun form
family's
hands
, there are Fix the agreement mistake
hand
also
some drawbacks of this
discussion that many people belive
Correct your spelling
believe
children
can start school
when reaching a proper age
. Firstly
, sending a kid
to school
early meaning they will spend less time
with their parents
, especially at the
early Correct article usage
an
age
. This
will result in stress and burnout for some children
who may not be ready to leave their parents
and still
in need of family care. Add a missing verb
are still
Secondly
, the growing of a child is a natural process and some ability cannot be teached
at Correct your spelling
taught
school
but should be considered as a responsibility of the parents
. For example
, among a group of people, kid
should Fix the agreement mistake
kids
learns
how to identify family members and who are strangers that they should not be Change the verb form
learn
interatived
to. Correct your spelling
integrated
interactive
Last
but not least, many subjects nowadays are designed for kids
that reach to
a proper Change preposition
apply
age
and they will learn them
Change the pronoun
their
efficiency
Replace the word
efficiently
at
that specific class only. Some subjects like singing, dancing and drawing are designed for Change preposition
in
kid
in junior classes, Fix the agreement mistake
kids
while
sciences one
like math, Correct pronoun usage
apply
physic
, herbology, and many more are aiming for higher classes.
In conclusion, the two sides of the Fix the agreement mistake
physics
arguement
concerning many benefits and drawbacks. Correct your spelling
argument
However
, after thorough
analysis of both Add an article
a thorough
side
, Fix the agreement mistake
sides
it is clear that
the idea of send
the Change the verb form
sending
kid
to school
at the
very early Correct article usage
a
age
cannot be supported. As learning is a long-live
process, growing up is another one that should not be ignored. It is suggested that we should invest more Correct your spelling
long-lived
time
caring for our kids
and give our children
more time
to enjoy their childhood.Submitted by xbinh91 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use topic sentences to guide the reader through the argument. This will improve the essay's logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your transitions between ideas and paragraphs to help make the essay more cohesive. Phrases like 'On the other hand' should be used more accurately within the context.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Check for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes such as 'communitive' (communicative), 'teached' (taught), and 'interatived' (interacted). A few minor errors are fine, but too many can affect clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, setting the stage and summarizing the argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively discusses both viewpoints, making a balanced argument.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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