Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

#schools #focus #success #examinations #skills #cookery #woodwork #school #friends

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Nowadys

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Nowadays

, educational establishments teach not only academic subjects

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apply

show examples

but

also

teach extra subjects,

such

as cooking, sewing and joinery.

However

, don't forget that

school

should focus on

academical

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academic

show examples

skills rather than waste time on mastery that better to learn from family and friends. Is it right or not? A

cotroversy

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controversial

moment, that should be covered.

Firstly

, extra classes

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are

show examples

unnecessary and it is a

wasting

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waste

show examples

of time.

Due to

that,

school

is needed to gain new

khowledge

Correct your spelling

knowledge

that will develop the student's mind.

For example

mathematic

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mathematics

show examples

can teach

student

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students

show examples

how to think

logical

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logically

show examples

, solve difficult tasks and find effective ways

for

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show examples

solution

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solve

show examples

problems; history can give students the skill of

analyze

Wrong verb form

analysing

show examples

past events,

understand

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understanding

show examples

reasons

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the reasons

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and consequences of actions, and

also

learn from past mistakes for use in the present and future.

Secondly

, skills

such

as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork

bettet

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better

taught

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be taught

show examples

from

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show examples

family members and sometimes

learn

Wrong verb form

learned

show examples

from friends.

Cause

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Because

show examples

almoust

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almost

all of them are

realate

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house work

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housework

show examples

and parent could show

student's

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the student's

a student's

show examples

how to do it.

For instance

mother

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the mother

a mother

show examples

can teach her daughter how to cook,

grandmother

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the grandmother

show examples

can share

with

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apply

show examples

dressmaking

skill

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skills

show examples

father

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the father

a father

show examples

can show how to work with

tree

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trees

show examples

to his son

and

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apply

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et cetera.

To sum up

exstra

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extra

classes are not the most important compared to

school

subjects and there are many reasons for

this

point. In my

opinion

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opinion,

show examples

school

is for academic success and passing examinations,

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show examples

really

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that, students do not need something extra, that they can learn from own home.

Submitted by bellovanina97 on Thu Aug 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

You provide an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, your main points are not as clearly supported with evidence or specific examples.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and attempts to answer the question. However, it lacks depth in the arguments presented. Provide more comprehensive ideas and relevant examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay better to ensure a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and be linked clearly to the next.

general advice

Remember to proofread your work to correct spelling and grammatical errors: 'academical' should be 'academic,' 'cotroversy' should be 'controversial,' 'wasting' should be 'waste,' and 'khowledge' should be 'knowledge.'

task achievement

You do a good job of presenting your opinion clearly and confidently by stating your agreement or disagreement with the prompt.

coherence cohesion

Including an introduction and a conclusion gives your essay a good structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic success
passing examinations
cookery
dressmaking
woodwork
learn from family and friends
personalized learning environment
supportive learning environment
well-rounded education
school curriculum
resources
expert guidance
enhance creativity
problem-solving
teamwork

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Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

Write about the following topic: Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?