Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

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Nowadys
Correct your spelling
Nowadays

If you don’t want Nowadys to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, educational establishments teach not only academic subjects
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

teach extra subjects,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as cooking, sewing and joinery.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, don't forget that
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should focus on
academical
Replace the word
academic

The word academical doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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skills rather than waste time on mastery that better to learn from family and friends. Is it right or not? A
cotroversy
Correct your spelling
controversial

If you don’t want cotroversy to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

moment, that should be covered.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, extra classes
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject classes. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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unnecessary and it is a
wasting
Replace the word
waste

The word wasting doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of time.
Due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that,
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is needed to gain new
khowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge

If you don’t want khowledge to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that will develop the student's mind.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
mathematic
Replace the word
mathematics

The word mathematic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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can teach
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students

It seems that student may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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how to think
logical
Change the word
logically

Logical seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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, solve difficult tasks and find effective ways
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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solution
Replace the word
solve

The word solution doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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problems; history can give students the skill of
analyze
Wrong verb form
analysing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb analyze. Consider changing it.

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past events,
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb understand. Consider changing it.

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reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and consequences of actions, and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

learn from past mistakes for use in the present and future.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, skills
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork
bettet
Correct your spelling
better

If you don’t want bettet to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to
taught
Add a missing verb
be taught

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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from
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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family members and sometimes
learn
Wrong verb form
learned

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb learn. Consider changing it.

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from friends.
Cause
Correct word choice
Because

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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,
almoust
Correct your spelling
almost

If you don’t want almoust to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

all of them are
realate
Correct your spelling
related

If you don’t want realate to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to
house work
Correct your spelling
housework

The word house work seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
and parent could show
student's
Add an article
the student's
a student's

The noun phrase student seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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how to do it.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
mother
Add an article
the mother
a mother

The noun phrase mother seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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can teach her daughter how to cook,
grandmother
Correct article usage
the grandmother

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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can share
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
dressmaking
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills

It seems that skill may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
father
Add an article
the father
a father

The noun phrase father seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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can show how to work with
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees

It seems that tree may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to his son
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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et cetera.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
exstra
Correct your spelling
extra

If you don’t want exstra to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

classes are not the most important compared to
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

subjects and there are many reasons for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

point. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In my opinion. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is for academic success and passing examinations,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

show examples
really
belive
Correct your spelling
believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
that, students do not need something extra, that they can learn from own home.

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coherence cohesion
You provide an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, your main points are not as clearly supported with evidence or specific examples.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and attempts to answer the question. However, it lacks depth in the arguments presented. Provide more comprehensive ideas and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay better to ensure a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and be linked clearly to the next.
general advice
Remember to proofread your work to correct spelling and grammatical errors: 'academical' should be 'academic,' 'cotroversy' should be 'controversial,' 'wasting' should be 'waste,' and 'khowledge' should be 'knowledge.'
task achievement
You do a good job of presenting your opinion clearly and confidently by stating your agreement or disagreement with the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Including an introduction and a conclusion gives your essay a good structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic success
  • passing examinations
  • cookery
  • dressmaking
  • woodwork
  • learn from family and friends
  • personalized learning environment
  • supportive learning environment
  • well-rounded education
  • school curriculum
  • resources
  • expert guidance
  • enhance creativity
  • problem-solving
  • teamwork
What to do next:
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