It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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It is true that in many

stats

Replace the word

statistics

show examples

not sufficient pupils are selecting to study

science

Use synonyms

because of the hardness of the subject and the

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

in job sectors

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

too high among

science

Use synonyms

graduates.

As a result

Linking Words

, new innovations could be reduced in those nations and they will easily be targeted by their

oppositions

Fix the agreement mistake

opposition

show examples

. First of all, studying

science

Use synonyms

is not easy. It incorporates some hardest subjects e.g. physics and higher mathematics.

Additionally

Linking Words

, many

pople

Correct your spelling

people

believe that comprehension of these subjects

are

Change the verb form

show examples

comparatively difficult without home

turor

Correct your spelling

tutor

Hence

Linking Words

, it increases the cost of living

Change preposition

for

show examples

a family. A study found that almost 25%

students

Change preposition

of students

show examples

from

Use synonyms

science

Correct article usage

the science

show examples

group fail every year in the

O level

Add a hyphen

O-level

show examples

exam even though they keep

home

Correct article usage

a home

show examples

tutor, and the rate is the highest among other groups.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

lot

Add the preposition

lot of

show examples

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

Use synonyms

science

Correct article usage

the science

show examples

job

markets

Fix the agreement mistake

market

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, if someone

know

Change the verb form

knows

show examples

better programming than a college graduate, companies might hire

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better coders

for serving

Change preposition

to serve

show examples

their purpose rather

hiring

Correct word choice

than hiring

show examples

the graduated one.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, in some countries, many pupils fear to take

science

Use synonyms

as a subject. New inventions will be stopped if the students are uninterested in

science

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, modern problems can not be addressed properly by the

socities

Correct your spelling

societies

. That could

cause

Verb problem

cost

show examples

humanity

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a lot.

For instance

Linking Words

, our current technologies are unable to predict earthquakes.

Hence

Linking Words

, millions of

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

are dying each year.

Therefore

Linking Words

, young innovative minds are necessary to address

this

Linking Words

problem.

Secondly

Linking Words

, countries that are not getting

science

Use synonyms

pupils are lagging behind

from

Change preposition

show examples

the world. It is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they might not get great scientists in future generations.

Thus

Linking Words

, they will lose to

the

Change the word

their

show examples

enemies with no new way to save themselves from modern war gadgets. In conclusion, the hardship of comprehending

science

Use synonyms

and the scarcity of

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

market

Add an article

the market

show examples

because of the competition are the main causes why students are not taking

science

Use synonyms

Eventually

Add a comma

Eventually,

show examples

there will be no new technologies and they will become easy

target

Fix the agreement mistake

targets

show examples

for their enemies.

niloyirtisamThu Aug 01 2024

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task achievement

To improve, try to restate the topic more clearly in the introduction. The beginning sentence could be formulated more strongly to clearly emphasize the main issue presented in the prompt.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a more seamless flow of ideas between paragraphs and within each paragraph. Use linking phrases and conjunctions effectively to create smoother transitions.

task achievement

Use more varied sentence structures and attempt to avoid informal or somewhat inaccurate phrases such as 'keep home tutor'. You could say 'even with private tutors' instead.

task achievement

Include more detailed, specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you might provide an example of a specific country or event that illustrates your points.

coherence cohesion

The use of precise academic vocabulary and grammar can further improve clarity and demonstrate a stronger command of written English.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents relevant points such as the difficulty of studying science and the competitive job market.

coherence cohesion

The overall logical structure is well-maintained, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
Perception of difficulty
Early exposure
Engaging experiences
Career opportunities
Practical applications
Financial constraints
Cultural norms
Critical fields
Innovation
Economic development
Global competitiveness
Public health
Environmental issues
Scientific progress
Educational standards
Biodiversity loss
Healthcare services
Medical research
Job prospects
Research and technology

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It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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