It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
It is true that in many
stats
not sufficient pupils are selecting to study Replace the word
statistics
science
because of the hardness of the subject and the competitions
in job sectors Fix the agreement mistake
competition
are
too high among Correct subject-verb agreement
is
science
graduates. As a result
, new innovations could be reduced in those nations and they will easily be targeted by their oppositions
.
First of all, studying Fix the agreement mistake
opposition
science
is not easy. It incorporates some hardest subjects e.g. physics and higher mathematics. Additionally
, many pople
believe that comprehension of these subjects Correct your spelling
people
are
comparatively difficult without home Change the verb form
is
turor
. Correct your spelling
tutor
Hence
, it increases the cost of living of
a family. A study found that almost 25% Change preposition
for
students
from Change preposition
of students
science
group fail every year in the Correct article usage
the science
O level
exam even though they keep Add a hyphen
O-level
home
tutor, and the rate is the highest among other groups. Correct article usage
a home
Secondly
, there are
a Correct subject-verb agreement
is
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
competitions
in Fix the agreement mistake
competition
science
job Correct article usage
the science
markets
. Fix the agreement mistake
market
For example
, if someone know
better programming than a college graduate, companies might hire Change the verb form
knows
the
better coders Correct article usage
apply
for serving
their purpose rather Change preposition
to serve
hiring
the graduated one. Correct word choice
than hiring
For
this
reason, in some countries, many pupils fear to take science
as a subject.
New inventions will be stopped if the students are uninterested in science
. Therefore
, modern problems can not be addressed properly by the socities
. That could Correct your spelling
societies
cause
humanity Verb problem
cost
by
a lot. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, our current technologies are unable to predict earthquakes. Hence
, millions of peoples
are dying each year. Fix the agreement mistake
people
Therefore
, young innovative minds are necessary to address this
problem. Secondly
, countries that are not getting science
pupils are lagging behind from
the world. It is becauseChange preposition
in
,
they might not get great scientists in future generations. Remove the comma
apply
Thus
, they will lose to the
enemies with no new way to save themselves from modern war gadgets.
In conclusion, the hardship of comprehending Change the word
their
science
and the scarcity of job
in Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
market
because of the competition are the main causes why students are not taking Add an article
the market
science
. Eventually
there will be no new technologies and they will become easy Add a comma
Eventually,
target
for their enemies.Fix the agreement mistake
targets
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task achievement
To improve, try to restate the topic more clearly in the introduction. The beginning sentence could be formulated more strongly to clearly emphasize the main issue presented in the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a more seamless flow of ideas between paragraphs and within each paragraph. Use linking phrases and conjunctions effectively to create smoother transitions.
task achievement
Use more varied sentence structures and attempt to avoid informal or somewhat inaccurate phrases such as 'keep home tutor'. You could say 'even with private tutors' instead.
task achievement
Include more detailed, specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you might provide an example of a specific country or event that illustrates your points.
coherence cohesion
The use of precise academic vocabulary and grammar can further improve clarity and demonstrate a stronger command of written English.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents relevant points such as the difficulty of studying science and the competitive job market.
coherence cohesion
The overall logical structure is well-maintained, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?