IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life.To what extend do you agree?

#countries #parents #children #schools #people #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
Gardians
Correct your spelling
Guardians
 have
choice
Add an article
the choice
a choice
show examples
 to send their
children
Use synonyms
 to
co-educationals
Correct your spelling
co-educational
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 and
non co-educational
Add a hyphen
non-co-educational
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 some individuals believe that
children
Use synonyms
 going to
same
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
sex
Use synonyms
schools
Use synonyms
 have many drawbacks when
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
 becomes adult. I firmly agree, that
kids
Use synonyms
 going to non co-educational
schools
Use synonyms
 have more cons than going to co-educational.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the drawbacks
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 choosing
same
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
sex
Use synonyms
schools
Use synonyms
. On the one side, Juveniles going to
co-educations
Replace the word
co-education
show examples
 institutions are familiar with playing and competing with
opposite
Add a hyphen
opposite-sex
show examples
sex
Use synonyms
 students. These
kids
Use synonyms
 develop to understand
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 nature of
opposite gender
Add a hyphen
opposite-gender
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
for instance
Linking Words
, educational institutions, educate
children
Use synonyms
 on
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
 aspects towards other
children
Use synonyms
.
furthermore
Linking Words
.
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
 have
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
show examples
 environment where they learn to work together and against
same gender
Add a hyphen
same-gender
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
.
when
Capitalize word
When
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 grow up to be adults,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 easily co-ordinate and
co-operate
Correct your spelling
cooperate
show examples
 with
oposite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 genders in their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
. On the other side, guardians with stereotypical thinking believe that
children
Use synonyms
 get spoiled and attracted to
children
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
Correct article usage
the oposite
show examples
oposite
Correct your spelling
opposite
sex
Use synonyms
.
due to
Linking Words
 which they assume that
children
Use synonyms
 will lack focus and interest towards education.
however
Linking Words
, individuals studying in
same
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
sex
Use synonyms
schools
Use synonyms
 will face behavioural and co-ordination Issues with opposite gender
kids
Use synonyms
 when they grow as adults. because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 these
children
Use synonyms
 are not educated in their
schools
Use synonyms
.
for instance
Linking Words
, I witnessed a female co-worker in my organisation who
hesitate
Wrong verb form
hesitated
show examples
 to work with
male
Add an article
a male
show examples
 co-worker.
this
Linking Words
 is because she was
grown
Verb problem
raised
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
a sisters
show examples
sisters
Change noun form
sister's
show examples
 school and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 never had
explosure
Correct your spelling
exposure
 working with boys and male peers. In conclusion, Parents should send their
kids
Use synonyms
 to co-educational
academics
Change the noun form
academic
show examples
 institutions because they shall have no drawbacks when they are adults.
Submitted by jesujwal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully explained and supported. Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, include research studies or statistics on the impact of single-sex and co-educational schooling.
coherence and cohesion
Work on making the essay more logically structured. Improve the organization by making sure each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. Avoid abrupt transitions and ensure ideas flow smoothly from one to another.
general
Check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. Consider using a variety of sentence types and more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
introduction and conclusion
Revise the introduction for clarity and conciseness. Clearly state your position in the introduction and provide an outline of the key points you will discuss. This sets a strong tone for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, which is supported throughout.
introduction and conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a framework for the essay.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and address the essay question.
task achievement
Good attempts are made to provide examples, which are crucial in supporting the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • social interaction
  • real-world preparation
  • gender stereotypes
  • academic performance
  • healthy competition
  • personal and professional settings
  • reinforce
  • collaborate
  • representative environment
  • promote gender equality
  • break down stereotypes
  • social pressures
  • academic concentration
What to do next:
Look at other essays: