some people usually appreciate others according to social status or material possessions and they think ol-fashioned values include honor, kindness, trust are not important in the digital era.
In the present day, some
people
usually appreciate others according to
social status or material possessions and they think ol-fashioned
values Correct your spelling
old-fashioned
include
Wrong verb form
including
honor
, kindness, Change the spelling
honour
trust
are not important in the digital era. I will give my own opinion in the below paragraphs.
On the one hand, Correct word choice
and trust
people
nowadays are more dependent on social networks so that
they Correct word choice
apply
also
judge others from their profile
Fix the agreement mistake
profiles
in
social media Change preposition
on
such
as pictures they upload or some quotes. From that, they will focus on their famous social status to treat them in real-life
and Correct your spelling
real life
also
in
social networks. Change preposition
on
Therefore
, more and more people
nowadays are living virtual lives in society just wanting to be more famous and have judged others. This
can lead to more drawbacks to
individuals in the future.
Change preposition
for
On the other hand
, I believe that it is not good behavior
to appreciate Change the spelling
behaviour
people
. Firstly
, when appreciated
Wrong verb form
appreciate
of
Change preposition
apply
people
according from
social networks they cannot know what is Change preposition
to
the
real Correct article usage
apply
them
so Correct pronoun usage
apply
that
they can lie Correct word choice
apply
Change preposition
to them
them
and Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
appropriation
of poverty of them from social. Add an article
the appropriation
Secondly
, people
who respect honor
, kindness and Change the spelling
honour
trust
in love will not trust
people
and also
disbelieve in love will lead to decline
in the rate of marriage and Add an article
a decline
lead to
increase in the rate of older workers in the future.
In conclusion, Verb problem
an
used
social is can give more benefit Wrong verb form
using
for
Change preposition
to
Correct article usage
a person
person
, Fix the agreement mistake
people
however
, they cannot judge people
in social situations while
do
not Unnecessary verb
apply
seem
some other values Verb problem
apply
such
as honor
, kindness or Change the spelling
honour
trust
in someone can be give
more cons Change the verb form
give
to
Change preposition
apply
people
.Submitted by document.hanie on
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task response
Ensure clarity and depth in your argumentation. Your points should be more comprehensively explained and supported with relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and connect smoothly to the next. Adding transitional phrases can help.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to your introduction and conclusion. They should clearly state your position and summarize your main points effectively.
task response
Minimize grammatical errors and refine sentence structures for better readability.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which shows good organization.
task response
You tackled a relevant and contemporary issue, which is a positive aspect.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.