The picture illustrates the data about the amount of guests who traveled 4 various genres of travel industries between 1981 and 1999 in the UK.

#picture #data #amount #guests #genres #travel #industries #uk

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The picture illustrates the data about the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

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of guests who

traveled

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travelled

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Change preposition

to 4

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various genres of travel industries between 1981 and 1999 in the UK.

Overall

Linking Words

, we can see the distribution of visiting exhibitions was the highest in both 2 years.

By contrast

Linking Words

, animal accommodations showed the smallest rate compared to the previous.

As well as

Linking Words

can be seen from the chart, in 1981 museums and galleries were the places that accounted for approximately

Correct article usage

apply

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half amount of tourists,

consequently

Linking Words

, being the highest proportion.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the number of visitors who went to theme parks, claimed

for

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apply

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the second highest rate in 1981, about 32%.

Besides

Linking Words

, historic houses and

Linking Words

also

Rephrase

apply

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monuments had

the

Correct article usage

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rate less than 2 times compared to the previous.

In addition

Linking Words

to these buildings were wildlife zoos, which had the smallest percentage of contribution, about only 4%.

Additionally

Linking Words

, in 1999, the exhibitions section still showed

the

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first-rate percentage,

by contrast

Linking Words

, reducing by a tiny margin, about 10%.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the number of theme parks

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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increased

Change preposition

by 5

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% rather than the 1981 version,

consequently

Linking Words

, still claiming second place.

Finally

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

historical buildings remained unchanged, wildlife zoos have

rose

Change the verb form

risen

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in guests, achieving 9%.

Submitted by document.hanie on Thu Aug 01 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to support your main points with relevant and specific data from the chart.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear topic and should follow logically from the previous ones.

coherence cohesion

Even though you provided an overview and described key details, it’s important to summarize the main trends more clearly in the conclusion.

task achievement

Work on making your ideas and sentences clearer to improve overall comprehensibility.

task achievement

The essay provides a general overview and includes relevant details.

coherence cohesion

You made a good effort in structuring the essay into paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

192 words

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The picture illustrates the data about the amount of guests who traveled 4 various genres of travel industries between 1981 and 1999 in the UK.

Fully explain your ideas

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main sbjects. other believe it is more important to give all their time and attendtion to studying for qualifications. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

"In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. "

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of thease problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Nowadays people live in the society where consumer goods are cheaper to buy. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?