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Writing Samples
Band 5

Shopping is one of the most popular leisure activities among young people What is the reason for this? Can you think of other free time activities young people might enjoy?

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In the modern era,
people
Use synonyms
 spend
spare
Correct pronoun usage
their spare
show examples
 time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 that seem passable to them. Shopping is the task
that is
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 performed by
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of youth
instead
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 of other alternatives.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
Correct article usage
the rasons
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rasons
Correct your spelling
reasons
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
above
Correct article usage
the above
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statment
Correct your spelling
statement
along with
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 other solutions in the subsequent paragraphs. Certainly, an association of multifarious reasons behind
dominance
Add an article
the dominance
show examples
 of shopping in free time.
However
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, first and foremost is unlimited necessities and
conviency
Correct your spelling
convenience
. To explain it more,
connection
Correct article usage
the connection
show examples
 with antiquated things
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 terminated
due to
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increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
 demands of human beings. In
this
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 case, they seem to stock on constantly to content their needs as umpteen choices are available to them with
finest
Change the article
the finest
show examples
 quality and affordable charges. In the 2022 survey,
popularity
Add an article
the popularity
show examples
 of
amazon
Capitalize word
Amazon
show examples
 escalated
due to
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 ample selection and
cheap
Correct word choice
low
show examples
 prices,
thus
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 around 60% of USA
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 spend omnipotent time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying things. On the paradoxical side, another factor that
worth
Add a missing verb
is worth
show examples
 mentioning is
Correct article usage
the impacts
show examples
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
 of
adapting
Correct your spelling
adopting
show examples
 alternatives,
while
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 the prominent is enhanced recreational skills. To elaborate on it, youngsters may
also
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indugle
Correct your spelling
indulge
indulged
 in other
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as travelling, sports and reading. It assists in enhancing their knowledge about the culture
as well as
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scrutinized
Wrong verb form
scrutinising
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the opportunities around them. All tasks must
undertake
Wrong verb form
be undertaken
show examples
 as per the interest only
then
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, they may benefit from them.
For instance
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,
according to
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2021
Correct article usage
a 2021
show examples
 survey around 40% of Indian
people
Use synonyms
 do advantageous
activities
Use synonyms
such
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 as cooking on social media,
therefore
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 they sustain livelihood for themselves and incline culinary skills among other
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 should indulge
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 that
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 out positive ramifications.
Such
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extracurriculams
Correct your spelling
extracurriculars
 not only make them robust but
also
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 help to augment and secure a bright future.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the structure of the essay and presents a clear thesis statement.
logical structure
Improve logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using appropriate linking words and phrases.
supported main points
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on how the given examples support your main points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your main ideas by making them more explicit to the reader, and avoid ambiguous phrases.
complete response
The essay provides a thorough response to the task, addressing both the popularity of shopping and alternative activities.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and functional, framing the essay well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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