IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagram below represents the “Comparison of how urban Chinese spent across major categories in 1995 versus the spending habits in 2011”. Summarise the information given in the diagrams. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram below represents the “Comparison of how urban Chinese spent across major categories in 1995 versus the spending habits in 2011”. Summarise the information given in the diagrams. Write at least 150 words.
#“comparison #chinese #categories #habits #summarise #information #diagrams
The pie charts illustrate the urban capital
comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 across important spending categories in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1995 and 2011.
Overall
,
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 evident that
food
 consumption has
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 reduction and spending on transportation, medicine and clothing increased identically.
Firstly
, In the
year
 1995, half of the yearly
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 was only on
food
. followed by 14
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on clothing,
10
Correct word choice
and 10
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 fund
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 allocated for
recreation
Replace the word
recreational
show examples
 activities. remaining minor spendings were observed for residential, transportation, medicine,household facilities and other miscellaneous spending stands at lowest.
Secondly
, In the
year
 2011, capital allocated for
food
 was reduced to 36
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and money reserved for transportation and recreation
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 increased by 14
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 7
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively. utilization on remaining
such
 as residential,
recreation
Correct word choice
and recreation
show examples
 have seen
minor
Correct article usage
a minor
show examples
 increment. In conclusion, major consumption of
food
 was reduced by 14
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1995
tp
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 2011. and utilization of household facilities
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 7
percent
 utilization.
Submitted by jesujwal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words year, food, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: