Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many
people
assume that advertising succeeded at making us purchase something,
although
others argue that
advertisements
are so distributed that
people
no longer step into their traps. I believe that
advertisements
are quite successful at their job and that they can alter someone’s plans and
imply
Verb problem
encourage
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them to buy something. On the one hand, nowadays, you can see
advertisements
everywhere that some
people
are even tired of them. They tend to believe that they can just ignore those commercial ideas and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not be affected by them.
Explanation
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The explanation
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lies
on
Change preposition
in
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the fact that
people
are already aware of its authority on their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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and that it can enhance their expenditure by purchasing something that they had not planned to be
Add an article
the owner
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owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
show examples
of.
For example
, there are lots of
people
that tell ordinary residents about
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
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of
advertisements
and make them aware of these commercial traps.
However
, sometimes
people
can not even feel and process that they have been influenced by advertising.
Advertisements
can face humans not only in videos or banners but
also
via tricks and ideas that you can not even see.
This
can be explained by the fact that those products are not facing any decline in sales but
in contrast
, even increasing.
This
is accomplished by invisible
advertisements
of numerous companies and local residents’ purchases.
For example
, there are
plethora
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a plethora
show examples
of ideas lying on placements of each product
on
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in
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each sector of a supermarket. In conclusion, taking everything into account, I firmly believe that
advertisements
have an enormous impact on ordinary
people
that sometimes can not even be calculated or seen.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides a balanced discussion. However, there are a few areas for improvement. Be mindful of making your explanations clearer. For example, consider rephrasing 'explanation lies on' to 'This is because,' to enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that all ideas are logically connected. For instance, the transition between discussing how ads are 'invisible' and how they affect supermarket product placement could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases like 'Furthermore,' or 'Moreover,' to guide the reader.
task achievement
Support your main points with more relevant and specific examples. You mentioned supermarket product placement, which is good, but providing more examples, such as online ads influencing purchases or TV commercials' impact, could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and you effectively express your opinion while discussing both views.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, which makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant to the topic, and you have given a balanced discussion of both perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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