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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Climate change has become a serious problem for mankind

#climate #change #mankind
Climate
change
 has been maintaining its actuality and it is the most serious issue that the world is facing today. Doubtless, the problems which are
occurred
Verb problem
caused
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate
change
 impact
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mankind very deeply.
This
 essay will examine the cause of
climate
change
 and discuss some
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
. Before analyzing the causes of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate
change
, it would be better
look
Fix the infinitive
to look
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 through the past. In the past people used to ride a horse, a camel or a bike, but nowadays each member of the family has his or her own car. Increasing the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cars influences the atmosphere directly. The cars run on harmful gases
such
 as carbon dioxide
changes
Correct subject-verb agreement
change
show examples
 the composition of the weather. It is known that weather is made up of
sex
Correct your spelling
six
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 main components. There are temperature, atmosphere pressure, cloud formation, wind, humidity and rain. CO2
effects
Replace the word
affects
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 these components so that, global warming can
indicate
Wrong verb form
be indicated
show examples
 as the result of it. The causes of
climate
change
 are not merely cars, but
also
 factories,
other
Correct word choice
and other
show examples
 facilities, burning harmful materials, heating systems, not using eco-friendly houses and sonar panels and deforestation. All the reasons which are mentioned below cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate
change
. The effect of the
climate
change
 is becoming worse
day
 by
day
. The negative result of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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atmospheric contamination is the threat
for
Change preposition
to
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 mankind.
Such
 as facing
with
Change preposition
apply
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the
gray
Change the spelling
grey
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 world: without plants, animals and
colors
Change the spelling
colours
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. Global warming, lack of biodiversity,
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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 issues and decreasing life expectancy can be regarded as the effect of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate
change
. It is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
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 that the age
if
Correct your spelling
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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death is getting younger
day
 after
day
. The
changing
Replace the word
change
show examples
 in the weather components
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
 health greatly. Incurable illnesses
such
 as cancer, heart attack, pharyngitis or other viral infections are the consequences of the
change
 in the atmosphere.
To conclude
,
climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
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 is the most irritating and serious ramification for mankind which really needs to solve it not facing
pale
Correct article usage
a pale
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 world, but living
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 flourishing Earth.
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and precision. This will make your arguments more coherent and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within a paragraph contribute to developing that idea. This will help in maintaining logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points discussed in the essay and provides a final perspective or call to action on the topic.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies and discusses both the causes and effects of climate change, covering multiple relevant aspects.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and sets the stage for the discussion, while the conclusion attempts to summarize the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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