IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#consumers #expenditure #cell #phone #fixed-line #services #america #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
 line
chrts
Correct your spelling
chart
charts
 shows the figure of people how
sales
Correct article usage
the sales
show examples
 rate
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
comparison
Change preposition
in comparison
show examples
 from 2001 to 2010 , It is clear from the graph that we have
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 In the
year
 2001 , the reason is not
uesed
Correct your spelling
using
 the
phone
overall
 or
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
due to
 . wich why before they busy with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 work to get their money .
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
overall
 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 poor and could not get the money to buy .
Accordaing
Correct your spelling
According
 to what is shown , In the
year
 2002 the trend per
cent
 had mildly the reason is the currency has become increased in a
maildly
Correct your spelling
mildly
because they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 not
uesed
Correct your spelling
used
 the
phone
profusly
Correct your spelling
profusely
.
Then
 they did not
gaive
Correct your spelling
get
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
marred
Correct your spelling
married
show examples
 for
phone
Add an article
the phone
a phone
show examples
 .
While
 in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 from 2005 to 2006 had rocketed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very quickly
of
Change preposition
because of
show examples
 the per
cent
 because had
develpoed
Correct your spelling
developed
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 used
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 there needs to it for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 work and
businusse
Correct your spelling
business
businesses
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 become with
Correct article usage
the enternet
show examples
enternet
Correct your spelling
Internet
.
Also
 in the
year
 2010
had become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
level out from 300
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
 to 700
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
the reason
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why per
cent
 had
drop
Change the verb form
dropped
show examples
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
 expensive for their money rate life .
to sum up
 , we could say that
Correct article usage
the diffirents
show examples
diffirents
Correct your spelling
different
 from
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2001 to 2010 had very
Correct quantifier usage
few chanages
show examples
chanages
Correct your spelling
changes
 and
develoments
Correct your spelling
developments
development
 of the per
cent
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 life and their needs .
Submitted by shougaldhafere on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, overall".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, phone, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: