Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?
Major
Add an article
The major
A major
problem
of the world is overpopulation in a
major urban Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
centers
.Change the spelling
centres
One
of the reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
of
overcrowding in downtown is Change preposition
for
migration
and solution
Correct article usage
the solution
of
Change preposition
to
this
problem
is diportation
.
The most popular reason Correct your spelling
depression
of
overcrowding is Change preposition
for
migration
.Migration
is when people
from a poor country move to another country, especially to a downtown.There are many reasons of
Change preposition
for
migration
but one
of the most popular reason
is Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
an
internal Correct article usage
apply
problems
in motherland
.Add an article
the motherland
Migrants
are escaping from their homes because of war,economical
Replace the word
economic
problems
,bad education and unemployment.Because of these problems
citizens from Add a comma
problems,
problem
cities are moving to more comfortable countries and searching for education,job
and peace.Since they find work someone can lose it Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
also
most of them cannot find it and just have hard times, for country
it is a really big Add an article
the country
a country
problem
which need
Change the verb form
needs
serious
Add an article
a serious
solution
.
Solution
for overcrowding is Correct article usage
The solution
deportation
.Deportation
is when government
returns Add an article
the government
back
Change preposition
apply
migrants
to their homes.For Add an article
the government
government
it is a really hard decision because Add a comma
government,
deportation
needs finance and workforce
.Correct article usage
a workforce
Deportation
requests workers like police who catchs
Correct your spelling
catches
catch
migrants
,machinists and transport which returns them back and finance
for payment to workers and expenses.Fix the agreement mistake
finances
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
migrants
bring some problems
while
people
dont complain government will not do anything.So many countries still have problems
with overpopulation and their civillians
are not seeing Correct your spelling
citizens
problems
and living with their own lives.
Congestion of people
in many major downtowns is a big problem
in world
and Add an article
the world
one
of the reasons of
overcrowding is Change preposition
for
migration
of Add an article
the migration
a migration
people
.There is only one
solution
and it is aReplace the word
deport
deportation
migrants
back to their homeSubmitted by zerdeteacher2024 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task, but some parts of your argument need more development. For instance, you mentioned migration as a cause but did not explore other potential causes such as natural population growth or urbanization.
task achievement
Some ideas are not as clear as they could be. For example, you mentioned that migrants bring problems but didn't specify what those problems are. Adding specific examples or elaborating on these points could strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, but there are some areas where connectivity could be improved. For instance, ensure smooth transitions between points for better flow.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, but the conclusion could be stronger by summarizing the main points or offering a final perspective. This makes your essay feel more complete.
coherence cohesion
Some of your main points lack sufficient support. For example, while you mentioned deportation as a solution, there is no explanation about its potential pros and cons or other possible solutions that could work more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You have identified key issues related to overpopulation, like migration and solutions like deportation.
coherence cohesion
Your writing addresses a major problem and attempts to propose a solution, which is a good approach to structuring your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!