With the advances in science and technology, people from different ends of the world can communicate with each other. What is your opinion on the impact of technologies on our lives? Do you think that these advances only result in positive outcomes?

These days all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
ues
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use
the
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apply
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technology for
eveything
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everything
. So , some
peope
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people
think that
importanat
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important
in our life ,
While
others
believe that will
get
Verb problem
cause
show examples
drawback issues .
This
essay will discuss both sides and
eill
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will
draw my personal opinion .
In
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On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand , some people shown
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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technology is very important in our life
to
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for
show examples
many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
First of all , they can talk with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
with
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through
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
multiple methods without get any
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
For example
, mobile phone
the
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apply
show examples
others
can
to
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apply
show examples
talk to each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.
secondly
,
there
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they
show examples
can have
chat
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a chat
show examples
and video call any time if
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
would .
Thirdly
, Even if parents travel
in
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to
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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any country they can communicate with
kids
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their kids
show examples
althought
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through
mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
or
computer
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computers
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
they have more methods for
connact
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contact
connect
.
In
addition
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addition,
show examples
the
sutday
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study
Sunday
become easily more than before .
On the other hand
, some people think that brings
the
Correct article usage
apply
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problems
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
why
there
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they are
show examples
against developments with
the
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apply
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communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
there
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
some kids maybe will they have
drawbaks
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drawbacks
problems and they can not control
with
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apply
show examples
this
.
Moreover
,
that is
why the
maind
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mind
main
had
a
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apply
show examples
damage , beside use the devices
overall
not healthy for our bodies and the mind will be
trun
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turned
off and a total
deoendence
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dependence
dependency
on the
elctricals
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electricals
electrical
. In
concluison
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conclusion
, after
anaylsis
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analysis
of
bith
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both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
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of veiw
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veiw
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view
, I believe that technology and
Iagree
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I agree
it
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with it
show examples
because it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
many benefits in our life .
Submitted by shougaldhafere on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, aim for a clear outline before writing. This ensures each idea transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction outlines the key points you will discuss, and make sure your conclusion summarizes these points effectively.
task achievement
Support each point with well-developed examples. For instance, mention specific ways technology has improved education or healthcare.
task achievement
Review grammar and spelling more thoroughly to avoid simple errors that could detract from the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is concise and states the writer's opinion clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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