QUESTIONS: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

At the present

time

Add a comma

time,

show examples

the population of some countries requires

journey

Correct article usage

a journey

show examples

Change preposition

of a

show examples

tiny period approximately a year between finishing grade 12 and before high studies. it is true that people's

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

today have been affected by work-life imbalance. despite the fact that

this

Linking Words

trend has some demerits,

Change the capitalization

show examples

would argue there are more merits.

this

Linking Words

essay

explore

Change the verb form

explores

show examples

how the benefits of

travel

Use synonyms

outwiegh

Correct your spelling

outweigh

outweighs

the drawbacks. on the one hand, there are several advantages of

travel

Use synonyms

after

hige

Correct your spelling

high

school. the

principle

Correct your spelling

principal

show examples

positive is that he or she

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

agreat

Correct your spelling

a great

great

adventure in life.

for example

Linking Words

, an article published by the Al

watan

Change the capitalization

Watan

show examples

-revealed that" youngsters who

travel

Use synonyms

, they acquire more

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

in their personality". to demonstrate more, some

puiples

Correct your spelling

purples

patient

Fix the agreement mistake

patients

show examples

when

face

Change the verb form

facing

show examples

a variety

Change preposition

of challanges

show examples

challanges

Correct your spelling

challenges

as well as

Linking Words

they build

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new

experince

Correct your spelling

experiences

and skills.

consequently

Linking Words

every one

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

should appropriately manage their a mount of lifestyle.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some impacts associated with

journey

Correct article usage

the journey

show examples

after education. first and foremost is

rising

Correct article usage

the rising

show examples

cost

Change preposition

of moeny

show examples

moeny

Correct your spelling

money

For instance

Linking Words

, if someone has

Use synonyms

travel

Wrong verb form

travelled

show examples

through a year , he or she needs at least 6000$ to get a good life.

Additionally

Linking Words

, many public

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

losing

life-work

Correct pronoun usage

their life-work

show examples

balance .

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

problem can result in mental and physical illnesses. In conclusion, there are strong

argument

Fix the agreement mistake

arguments

show examples

on both sides.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that

superiorities

Correct article usage

the superiorities

show examples

of merits'travelling outnumber its

dowensides

Correct your spelling

downsides

downside

community

Add an article

the community

a community

show examples

should get a chance to change their lifestyle and acquire

experits

Correct your spelling

experts

expertise

by mixing cultures.

lailakhalil3

Aug 2, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay needs better organization. Each paragraph should develop one main point, clearly connected to the topic sentence of the paragraph.

Task Achievement

The essay should include more specific examples and evidence to support the points raised.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the clarity of ideas by avoiding abrupt transitions and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one.

Task Achievement

You have successfully provided both advantages and disadvantages, showcasing balanced consideration.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, framing your essay well.

Task Achievement

The use of the quote from 'Al Watan' adds credibility to your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

239 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

gap year
real-world experiences
personal and professional growth
self-awareness
confidence
sense of direction
career paths
academic goals
loss of academic momentum
financially burdensome
travel and living expenses
delaying the start of a professional career

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many companies sponsor sports to advertise their products or service. What advantages and disadvantages does this bring for the teams and individuals that these companies sponsor?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that companies starting to promote their products or services. It is undeniable sponsoring has become an essential part of sports. However, there is no absolute agreement on this issue, as some people find it beneficial, while others consider it unnecessary and harmful for teams and people. Surely, there are both pros and cons to this, but I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
7
band
Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security for their family. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered?
Some individuals believe that people should choose careers depending on salaries to secure a family’s future. Yes, money is one of the important factors when making a choice regarding work to take care of their family in a time of increasing inflation and save money for the upcoming life. Additionally, other aspects such as job satisfaction and work-life balance should also be taken into consideration to build a good relationship with spouse, children, and parents.
7
band
Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university.
Despite the importance of science subjects, many students are not opting to study them at educational institutions. This essay will outline the reasons behind this phenomenon as well as determine what impacts have on society.
6.5
band
Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects.Other people think that,in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history.
For as long as there have been schools, people have debated what should be taught in them. Nowadays, with economic troubles creating additional pressure for people, there is a call for school curriculums to include more practical subjects and less of the arts and humanities. This essay will look at both sides of the argument and conclude that subjects like history should continue to be taught.
6.5
band
Some people think schools should only teach academic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Most people agree that pupils should only learn academic subjects at school. However, others approach that pupils should also learn how to identify between good deeds and misdeeds. This essay will consider both sides of the discussion and reach conclusion.

QUESTIONS: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Many companies sponsor sports to advertise their products or service. What advantages and disadvantages does this bring for the teams and individuals that these companies sponsor?

Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security for their family. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered?

Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university.

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects.Other people think that,in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history.

Some people think schools should only teach academic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.