QUESTIONS: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.
At the present
time
the population of some countries requires Add a comma
time,
journey
Correct article usage
a journey
a
tiny period approximately a year between finishing grade 12 and before high studies. it is true that people's Change preposition
of a
lifestyle
today have been affected by work-life imbalance. despite the fact that Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
this
trend has some demerits, i
would argue there are more merits. Change the capitalization
I
this
essay explore
how the benefits of Change the verb form
explores
travel
outwiegh
the drawbacks.
on the one hand, there are several advantages of Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
travel
after hige
school. the Correct your spelling
high
principle
positive is that he or she Correct your spelling
principal
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
agreat
adventure in life. Correct your spelling
a great
great
for example
, an article published by the Al watan
-revealed that" youngsters who Change the capitalization
Watan
travel
, they acquire more confident
in their personality". to demonstrate more, some Replace the word
confidence
puiples
Correct your spelling
purples
patient
when Fix the agreement mistake
patients
face
a variety Change the verb form
facing
Change preposition
of challanges
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
as well as
they build a
new Correct article usage
apply
experince
and skills. Correct your spelling
experiences
consequently
, every one
should appropriately manage their a mount of lifestyle.
Replace the word
everyone
On the other hand
, there are some impacts associated with journey
after education. first and foremost is Correct article usage
the journey
rising
cost Correct article usage
the rising
Change preposition
of moeny
moeny
. Correct your spelling
money
For instance
, if someone has travel
through a year , he or she needs at least 6000$ to get a good life. Wrong verb form
travelled
Additionally
, many public is
losing Correct subject-verb agreement
are
life-work
balance . Correct pronoun usage
their life-work
Furthermore
, this
problem can result in mental and physical illnesses.
In conclusion, there are strong argument
on both sides. Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
Therefore
, I strongly believe that superiorities
of merits'travelling outnumber its Correct article usage
the superiorities
dowensides
. Correct your spelling
downsides
downside
community
should get a chance to change their lifestyle and acquire Add an article
the community
a community
experits
by mixing cultures.Correct your spelling
experts
expertise
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay needs better organization. Each paragraph should develop one main point, clearly connected to the topic sentence of the paragraph.
Task Achievement
The essay should include more specific examples and evidence to support the points raised.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the clarity of ideas by avoiding abrupt transitions and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one.
Task Achievement
You have successfully provided both advantages and disadvantages, showcasing balanced consideration.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, framing your essay well.
Task Achievement
The use of the quote from 'Al Watan' adds credibility to your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.