In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might the reasons for it? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #situation

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These days many

people

Use synonyms

shown

Verb problem

apply

show examples

buy

one

Change the word

their

show examples

own house to their better than . So,some

people

Use synonyms

think

that is

Linking Words

important .

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others believe that no

needs

Correct pronoun usage

one needs

show examples

to buy

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

house.

This

Linking Words

essay

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and will discuss both sides and will draw my personal opinion.

Change preposition

show examples

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand,

there

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

disagree

to buy

Change preposition

with buying

show examples

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

home

Use synonyms

. they have

another sides

Replace the adjective

another side

other sides

show examples

to think

Change preposition

about.

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

,they

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

keep

thier

Correct your spelling

their

money to

another things

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another thing

other things

show examples

they

liked

Wrong verb form

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

,not all

people

Use synonyms

can buy

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

Use synonyms

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is why

expansive

Correct your spelling

expensive

show examples

sales.

Linking Words

Whereas

Correct word choice

However

show examples

ther

Correct your spelling

they

can not get

this

Linking Words

increase

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money.

For example

Linking Words

, a lot of rich did not buy

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

, they prefer

kouse

Correct your spelling

house

show examples

rental.So,

that is

Linking Words

why some think that disagree.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, per cent for buy houses

Correct your spelling

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rokeated

Correct your spelling

rotated

repeated

with the

last

Linking Words

days,

Moreover

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

own

home

Use synonyms

comfortuble

Correct your spelling

than

Correct word choice

comfortable than

show examples

rental

Add an article

a rental

show examples

home

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, they will not think about where they

leave

Correct your spelling

live

show examples

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

have

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

money

conversely

Linking Words

retal

Correct your spelling

return

home

Use synonyms

.As

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

can keep their personal things in

thier

Correct your spelling

their

own

Use synonyms

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

when

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are not

in stay

Wrong verb form

staying

show examples

home

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,after analysis of both

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

view

Change preposition

of view

show examples

, I believe getting in one own

home

Use synonyms

and I agree that side,it is more private

Linking Words

Also

Correct word choice

and Also

show examples

comfortable.

Submitted by shougaldhafere on Fri Aug 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a basic structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be improved. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion in a concise manner.

task achievement

The ideas in your essay need to be more developed and clearly expressed. You should aim to provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points. This will help to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

general

There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay. You should focus on improving your grammar and sentence structure to ensure your ideas are communicated clearly.

task achievement

You have made a good attempt at covering both sides of the argument, and you have provided your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has an introduction and conclusion, which helps to give it a complete structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

194 words

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might the reasons for it? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Fully explain your ideas

Several individuals expand most of their life alive near where they were born. What might be the cause of th is? What are the advantages and downsides?

nowadays many people are working remotely if they have chance do advantages can outweigh disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?