In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might the reasons for it? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #situation

These days many

people

shown

Verb problem

apply

show examples

buy

one

Change the word

their

show examples

own house to their better than . So,some

people

think

that is

important .

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others believe that no

needs

Correct pronoun usage

one needs

show examples

to buy

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

house.

This

essay

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and will discuss both sides and will draw my personal opinion.

Change preposition

show examples

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand,

there

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

people

disagree

to buy

Change preposition

with buying

show examples

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

home

. they have

another sides

Replace the adjective

another side

other sides

show examples

to think

Change preposition

about.

show examples

Firstly

,they

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

keep

thier

Correct your spelling

their

money to

another things

Replace the adjective

another thing

other things

show examples

they

liked

Wrong verb form

show examples

Secondly

,not all

people

can buy

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is why

expansive

Correct your spelling

expensive

show examples

sales.

Whereas

Correct word choice

However

show examples

ther

Correct your spelling

they

can not get

this

increase

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money.

For example

, a lot of rich did not buy

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

, they prefer

kouse

Correct your spelling

house

show examples

rental.So,

that is

why some think that disagree.

On the other hand

, per cent for buy houses

Correct your spelling

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rokeated

Correct your spelling

rotated

repeated

with the

last

days,

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

own

home

comfortuble

Correct your spelling

than

Correct word choice

comfortable than

show examples

rental

Add an article

a rental

show examples

home

In addition

, they will not think about where they

leave

Correct your spelling

live

show examples

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

have

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

money

conversely

retal

Correct your spelling

return

home

.As

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

can keep their personal things in

thier

Correct your spelling

their

own

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

when

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are not

in stay

Wrong verb form

staying

show examples

home

. In conclusion,after analysis of both

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

view

Change preposition

of view

show examples

, I believe getting in one own

home

and I agree that side,it is more private

Also

Correct word choice

and Also

show examples

comfortable.

Submitted by shougaldhafere on Fri Aug 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a basic structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be improved. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion in a concise manner.

task achievement

The ideas in your essay need to be more developed and clearly expressed. You should aim to provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points. This will help to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

general

There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay. You should focus on improving your grammar and sentence structure to ensure your ideas are communicated clearly.

task achievement

You have made a good attempt at covering both sides of the argument, and you have provided your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has an introduction and conclusion, which helps to give it a complete structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

194 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might the reasons for it? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You are taking a course at a local college. The deadline for your project was last week but you haven't finished it. Write a letter to your lecturer. In your letter introduce yourself explain why you haven't handed in the project yet request more time to do it.