Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People
have different views as to whether the development of technology supports crime or mitigates its influence in society. While
criminal activity seems no longer too scary due to
societal progress, I believe that people
are still suffering from its negative impact.
The advancements of
technology are resulting in negative consequences. These days, criminal activities are rising, leading to new types of crime Change preposition
in
such
as hacking, fake advertisements, and the spread of misunderstanding
information. These trends presented challenges to normal Wrong verb form
misunderstood
people
. For example
, they may lose money on their credit card, purchase something beforehand without touching it, or be the victim of a hack on their online properties. Because,
some advertisements are showing delusive information and fake online markets are misleading Remove the comma
apply
people
. Therefore
, technological advancements in our modern world are emerging new types of criminalities that make it easier to become a victim of online
crime.
In this
modern world, it is proven that the rise of illegal activities can be avoided with the aid of innovative tools that are being created by scientists. It appears that digital tools such
as phones, computers, and special machines lead to finding solutions to a variety of illegal forces. For example
, the implementation of ID can offer the opportunity to find anyone anywhere at any time, which means that if someone does something illegal, it is no longer difficult to bring them to prison.
In conclusion, although
the advancement of technology can benefit a little, the
rise of undiscovered crimes is far more dangerous to the public.Correct word choice
but the
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task response
Your essay addresses both views of the argument but could be further developed to ensure completeness. Ensure you provide balanced arguments for both perspectives and elaborate in detail.
task response
Enhance the clarity and depth of your examples. Real-life examples can make your argument more compelling and relevant to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay has a logical flow, some paragraphs feel underdeveloped. Strengthening the transition between ideas and ensuring each point is fully elaborated can help improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but can be more impactful. Consider a more detailed conclusion that summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance.
structure
The essay is structured well, presenting an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Logical arguments are made for both sides of the discussion, showing a balanced view.
language
The language used is clear and comprehensible, making the essay easy to read.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.