IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The process below shows how drinking water is made using solar power. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given below.

#process #water #power #report #university #lecturer #information
The flow chart illustrates the production of drinking
water
 by solar energy.
Overall
, it can be seen from the diagram there are some processes that need to be run from the start to get sunlight and finish drinking
water
 from the tap. It is conspicuous that
firstly
, the light passed onto the solar panels , those installed on the roofs of the premises and solar connectors convert that sunlight into electricity, which pumps the
water
 from the ground with the help of motors and sends it to
water
 filters for purification, so it becomes usable for a drink. Probing ahead,
secondly
, after filtered
water
 goes into the large tanks , where it becomes drinkable for consumers.
In addition
, to level the
tank
, a wooden solid platform is used and put
tank
 on top of that wood piece and make a certain height, where filters discharge the purified
water
 into the
tank
.
Last
, but not least people can take out
water
 with the help of a tap installed in the
tank
 and transfer it into the moveable pots. After finishing that process, it
again
Rephrase
apply
show examples
repeats the same steps to get filtered
water
 again and again until the solar panels work.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a basic overview, but adding a bit more detail could strengthen it. For example, mention the main stages or steps involved in the process.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Instead of 'Probing ahead,' you could use phrases like 'Next,' 'Then,' or 'Following this step,' to better guide the reader through the process.
coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, break down complex sentences into simpler ones. For example, instead of 'It is conspicuous that firstly...', you could write 'Firstly, sunlight reaches the solar panels...'. This makes your description more digestible.
task achievement
Be specific and concise when explaining how each step transitions into the next. This will make your task response clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
You have described all the main stages involved in the process of producing drinking water using solar power.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logically ordered, and you have used paragraphs to separate different stages of the process.
task achievement
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'solar panels,' 'purification,' and 'filtered water.' This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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