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Band 5

Some think that residents should responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#think #residents #areas #government’s #responsibility
The issue of who should
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
communities
 clean and tidy is debatable as some folks believe that it is the duty of the
residents
,
while
 others say it is
Correct article usage
the governments's
show examples
governments's
Fix the agreement mistake
government's
show examples
 mandate to clean these areas.
This
 essay
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 the idea that it is the state's responsibility to clean
communities
 because people pay
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 and house levies,
residents
 will not have
time
 to clean because they will be working to pay bills imposed by the same government. Municipalities should look after
communities
, they should employ people to clean the public areas, cut the grass short and trim the bushes and trees. They must install rubbish bins in the
path ways
Correct your spelling
pathways
show examples
 so that
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 can throw their trash and maintain cleanliness. All
this
 should be done through the money that the government collect from taxes and house levies. Cleaning is costly, it requires
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 and commitment,
therefore
, the government should fund all these things to ensure a clean environment. It will be a burden to expect
residents
 to clean
communities
. People do not have
time
 to spend with their families because they are always busy working to pay
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 bills and put food on their tables,
therefore
 finding
time
 to clean public spaces for free will be a non-starter. No one would leave his personal commitments to sweep the roads because most of the
dirty
Replace the word
dirt
show examples
 is placed naturally, either by wind or rain so it will be difficult to find someone willing to clean that.
Residents
 should be encouraged to use trash cans provided by the state when they want to throw away their rubbish rather than
droping
Correct your spelling
dropping
 them everywhere,
this
 is the best way they can
contibute
Correct your spelling
contribute
 to a clean environment. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly believe that governments should be responsible for the cleaning of
communities
 since they have funds to buy cleaning equipment and pay for the service.
Residents
 do not have
time
 and resources for cleaning.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'keeping' instead of 'keep' in the first sentence, 'governments's' should be 'government's,' and 'dropping' instead of 'droping.'
task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific cleaning services provided by the government or real-life scenarios where residents are involved in community cleanliness.
task achievement
Ensure your essay is fully developed within each paragraph. Your ideas are clear, but adding a few more supporting details can enhance the depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong structure for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-distributed throughout the essay, with distinct paragraphs focusing on the responsibilities of the government and residents separately.
coherence cohesion
Your language is generally clear and your argument logically progresses from one point to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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