IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some would argue that most of the employees who wear a uniform at the office gives good impression. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#employees #uniform #office #impression
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Several
people
Use synonyms
 have an opinion that generally a worker who dresses gives uniform at the office
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that is
Verb problem
gives
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 giving perspective outstanding impression. I totally agree with the statement, because wearing the same costume shows solid teamwork and branding
company
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.
Firstly
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,
although
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 wearing the same clothes is complicated, every staff must wear attire if a person wants to work at the office,
for example
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,
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
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 uses blue colour for
room
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 quality control.
However
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, it is essential to protect
dust
Change preposition
against dust
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 and other microbes if
people
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 want into the
room
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.
As a result
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, it keeps safety in the
room
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 and they will follow the
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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 for good manufacturing products from the authorities because the government controls wardrobes,
for
Change preposition
so
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 industry pharmacies must attire standard dress if they are in the
room
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.
Secondly
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,
company
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 branding is pivotal. many companies adorn specialist customs for the staff who want lab
our
Correct your spelling
out
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, so it will be easier identification
people
Use synonyms
 who
jobs
Verb problem
work
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 in the same department
also
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 managers and directors adorn different apparel during their work,
for instance
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, they will
put in
Verb problem
wear
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 helmet white, dress suits and regular staff attire helmet yellow or white shirt.
Consequently
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, the management of the
company
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 can know what officer do during their occupation.
To sum up
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, there are specific regalia for most
people
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 working. the first one is keeping clean in the
room
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, especially in
room
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 industry drugs. The second one is
company
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 branding since it is identic solid the team and the management can detect all of the members during there are jobs every day.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure a clear and logical flow of ideas by using appropriate transitional words and phrases. This will help to better link ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces your stance on the topic. This will help to clearly wrap up the essay's arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will help to illustrate your points more effectively and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the main points related to the importance of wearing uniforms, such as teamwork and company branding.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear and straightforward introduction that presents the writer's stance on the issue.
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