IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some would argue that most of the employees who wear a uniform at the office gives good impression. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#employees #uniform #office #impression
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Several
people
 have an opinion that generally a worker who dresses gives uniform at the office
that is
Verb problem
gives
show examples
 giving perspective outstanding impression. I totally agree with the statement, because wearing the same costume shows solid teamwork and branding
company
.
Firstly
,
although
 wearing the same clothes is complicated, every staff must wear attire if a person wants to work at the office,
for example
,
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
 uses blue colour for
room
 quality control.
However
, it is essential to protect
dust
Change preposition
against dust
show examples
 and other microbes if
people
 want into the
room
.
As a result
, it keeps safety in the
room
 and they will follow the
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 for good manufacturing products from the authorities because the government controls wardrobes,
for
Change preposition
so
show examples
 industry pharmacies must attire standard dress if they are in the
room
.
Secondly
,
company
 branding is pivotal. many companies adorn specialist customs for the staff who want lab
our
Correct your spelling
out
show examples
, so it will be easier identification
people
 who
jobs
Verb problem
work
show examples
 in the same department
also
 managers and directors adorn different apparel during their work,
for instance
, they will
put in
Verb problem
wear
show examples
 helmet white, dress suits and regular staff attire helmet yellow or white shirt.
Consequently
, the management of the
company
 can know what officer do during their occupation.
To sum up
, there are specific regalia for most
people
 working. the first one is keeping clean in the
room
, especially in
room
 industry drugs. The second one is
company
 branding since it is identic solid the team and the management can detect all of the members during there are jobs every day.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure a clear and logical flow of ideas by using appropriate transitional words and phrases. This will help to better link ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces your stance on the topic. This will help to clearly wrap up the essay's arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will help to illustrate your points more effectively and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the main points related to the importance of wearing uniforms, such as teamwork and company branding.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear and straightforward introduction that presents the writer's stance on the issue.
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