Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are two Schools of thought regarding cultural

traditions

Use synonyms

While

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some argue that cultural

traditions

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might

be deteriorated

Change to the active voice

deteriorate

have deteriorated

show examples

when it is used as a tourist industry, others suggest that

this

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is an attempt to preserve these

traditions

Use synonyms

, which sounds more valid to me. On the one hand, it can be true that cultural

traditions

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can be damaged if it used as a lucrative activity. The reason is local people might

be tend

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tend

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to copy the tourists’ behaviour and forget about their culture.

For example

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, Istanbul city in Turkey has a lot of tourists but

this

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mass of travellers

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

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some changes in peoples’ costumes

such

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as trousers and jeans. Today locals tend to wear shorts and casual

instead

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of formal clothes.

Additionally

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, governments try to redesign buildings and historical constructions in order to more attractive and eye-catching appearances, resulting in the loss of

traditions

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and cultures.

On the other hand

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, obviously, the main instruction to retain monuments and cultures is to make money from tourists.

This

Linking Words

way helps

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apply

show examples

governments to keep

traditions

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alive

Change preposition

through

show examples

income

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

receive

Wrong verb form

received

show examples

from visitors.

For instance

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, there are a lot of museums in France that attract many

travelers

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travellers

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around the world. These museums have entrance

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

which helps

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

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France’s government

Verb problem

apply

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retain their

traditions

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profit

Wrong verb form

profiting

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from tourists.

Moreover

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, governments can build some stores that sell souvenirs that are related to

history

Add an article

the history

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of the country,

due to

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make

profit

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a profit

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and try to keep

tradition

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the tradition

show examples

alive. In conclusion, the heritage of communities can be lost by foreign people in many ways but every tradition needs to be protected by some instructions and the best way is financial support by travellers.

arminafkhamiFri Aug 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develop it fully. This will help in maintaining a logical structure.

task achievement

Strengthen your arguments by adding more specific examples and details. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

task achievement

Clarify the introduction by presenting the thesis statement more succinctly without using ambiguous phrases such as 'which sounds more valid to me.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and are contextually appropriate.

task achievement

You have made an effort to provide specific examples, such as the case of Istanbul and France, which add value to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Dilution of cultural traditions
Authenticity
Cultural heritage
Revenue
Financial support
Preservation
Promotion
Commodification of culture
Intrinsic value
Exposure
Global awareness
Respect and understanding
Economic gain
Local communities
Decision-making processes
Respectful portrayal

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Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

In some countries, owning a home than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the case? Do you think this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Question: Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Write a letter to your neighbor in your letter . Describe the problem . Say how long it has been a problem . Explain what action you want the neighbor to takes Write atleast 150 words

At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact does this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?