IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Some people believe that it is a waste of time ot read read newspapers and watch news on televison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #waste #time #ot #newspapers #news #televison
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Nowadays,
News
spread
Wrong verb form
spreads
show examples
 through people via
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
ways
Change preposition
of ways
show examples
such
 as television,
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. One of the classic
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 to get up-to-date
news
 is
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 serving pictures , letters and
also
 some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interesting
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
. Television can provide
picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures
show examples
, sound and video to detailize the
news
. Various
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
show examples
 sequenced
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
producer
Fix the agreement mistake
producers
show examples
 make audiences feel
surprising
Replace the word
surprised
show examples
 by presenting the new show
overexpecting
Correct your spelling
over expecting
 and interesting advertisement.
However
, there are a lot of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 do not like to watch unwanted
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 or
news
. They only want to see what they expect because of wasting time. So, they spend money on the platform getting
news
 without receiving unwanting
adverisement
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertisements
. In my opinion, it is not a waste
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
 to spend on
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and television. Because getting information from these ways
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
astonish
Wrong verb form
astonishing
show examples
 information that sometimes we never pick up.
Moreover
, I think it is a classic way to get information.
Submitted by itsmeatommm on

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task achievement
Ensure your arguments are clear and supported with specific examples. Right now, some points are too general.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. There are several minor errors that disrupt the flow.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, ensuring ideas are more logically connected.
task achievement
Good attempt at addressing the prompt with both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to the essay.
task achievement
You have identified different platforms for news, demonstrating understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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