Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

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It is argued by some people that expenditure on the
arts
Use synonyms
by higher authority is of no use,
instead
Linking Words
, they should focus more on other aspects
such
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as healthcare, housing and so on. I totally agree with the notion that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should take other aspects into consideration and will discuss both views in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, no doubt, art is a primary
influencer
Correct your spelling
influence
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on everyone's life. To elaborate, funding for the
arts
Use synonyms
broaden
Correct subject-verb agreement
broadens
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the horizon of knowledge of individuals as it provides cultural enrichment and entertainment.
Moreover
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, spending on
arts
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boosts
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourism and local business, as
Correct article usage
a results
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
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, leads to the economic growth of a particular nation.
For example
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, a study conducted in Japan in 2019 revealed that 60%
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
countries
become
Wrong verb form
became
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rich after spending a bunch of money on the
arts
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and attracting tourists to visit.
On the other hand
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,
i
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I
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, personally, believe that the housing, and healthcare sectors should be given more priority with respect to funding.
Finacial
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Financial
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support to build more hospitals will improve the quality of life by providing easy access to the nearest hospitals and taking medicine at
less
Fix the agreement mistake
a lower
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price.
Similarly
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, by building more houses, people can enjoy their own private space. In turn, spending on these categories will
serve
Verb problem
provide
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more employment opportunities to the needy ones. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
totally disagree with the fact that government should spend more on the
arts
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, and believe that other factors
such
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as healthcare and housing should be given more priority.
Submitted by kknavdeep2000 on

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task achievement
When presenting both views, ensure that each point is well-developed and clearly explained. You could provide more examples or statistical data to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow of the essay. This can be achieved by using appropriate linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice. Small errors can slightly hinder the overall clarity of your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear indication of the topic and your stance on it.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position on the topic.
complete response
You have successfully highlighted some valid points in favor of both views, showcasing a well-rounded discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • economic stimulus
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • infrastructure
  • public safety
  • tangible benefits
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • job creation
  • performance arts
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