Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?
It is argued by some people that expenditure on the
arts
by higher authority is of no use, instead
, they should focus more on other aspects such
as healthcare, housing and so on. I totally agree with the notion that government
should take other aspects into consideration and will discuss both views in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, no doubt, art is a primary Correct article usage
the government
influencer
on everyone's life. To elaborate, funding for the Correct your spelling
influence
arts
broaden
the horizon of knowledge of individuals as it provides cultural enrichment and entertainment. Correct subject-verb agreement
broadens
Moreover
, spending on arts
boosts the
tourism and local business, as Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
a results
results
, leads to the economic growth of a particular nation. Fix the agreement mistake
result
For example
, a study conducted in Japan in 2019 revealed that 60% the
countries Change preposition
of the
become
rich after spending a bunch of money on the Wrong verb form
became
arts
and attracting tourists to visit.
On the other hand
, i
, personally, believe that the housing, and healthcare sectors should be given more priority with respect to funding. Change the capitalization
I
Finacial
support to build more hospitals will improve the quality of life by providing easy access to the nearest hospitals and taking medicine at Correct your spelling
Financial
less
price. Fix the agreement mistake
a lower
Similarly
, by building more houses, people can enjoy their own private space. In turn, spending on these categories will serve
more employment opportunities to the needy ones.
In conclusion, Verb problem
provide
i
totally disagree with the fact that government should spend more on the Change the capitalization
I
arts
, and believe that other factors such
as healthcare and housing should be given more priority.Submitted by kknavdeep2000 on
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task achievement
When presenting both views, ensure that each point is well-developed and clearly explained. You could provide more examples or statistical data to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow of the essay. This can be achieved by using appropriate linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice. Small errors can slightly hinder the overall clarity of your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear indication of the topic and your stance on it.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position on the topic.
complete response
You have successfully highlighted some valid points in favor of both views, showcasing a well-rounded discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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