Some people say that parents have the most important role in child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both of view and give your opinion.
At the present time, some members of society believe that
parents
play the
significant role in their Correct article usage
a
life'
Change noun form
children's lives
children
. While
others say, external factor
like television or friends Change the noun form
factors
influnce
on them. The fact that the trend has some demerits, I would argue there are more merits. Correct your spelling
influence
This
essay explore
how the benefits of Change the verb form
explores
child's
development with Correct article usage
a child's
parents
outweigh external resources.
On the one hand, there are several advantages of development'
Change noun form
development
children
with their mom and dad. The pricipal
positive is that Correct your spelling
principal
parents
provide the first learning environment. A clear example can be seen in the instill
Change the spelling
instil
moral
and manners from Fix the agreement mistake
morals
young
age because Add an article
a young
parents
have ability
to guide them. Change the article
the ability
Additionally
, an article published by Al Watan- revealed that " parents
teach their children
the essential skills in first years, for instane
language and culture.
Correct your spelling
instance
On the other hand
, there are some resources to develop young age associated with teleivision
and friends. First and foremost, television introduces a variety of cultures and languages.To demonstrate more, young requires bad or good ideas. Another possible factor is that Correct your spelling
television
friend
who have social skills and a group of interests. Fix the agreement mistake
friends
Consequently
, everyone should manage their bahaviors
.
In conclusion, there are strong arguments on both sides. Correct your spelling
behaviour
Therefore
, I srtongly
believe that Correct your spelling
strongly
superiorities
of merits' development Correct article usage
the superiorities
children
with Change preposition
of children
parents
outnumber friends and technology. The community should be balance
between two sides because each one complete Wrong verb form
balanced
others
.Correct article usage
the others
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task achievement
The introduction clearly presents both viewpoints, but ensure clarity by using more precise language. For example, 'members of society believe' can be simplified to 'some believe.'
task achievement
Your argument is present, but ensure all sentences contribute directly to explaining why parental influence outweighs external factors. For example, 'The fact that the trend has some demerits' is ambiguous and could be clearer.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas clearly by maintaining a consistent structure. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Sometimes your points are mixed and can cause slight confusion, like in the paragraph discussing both parents and external influences.
coherence cohesion
Increase your use of transitions to better link ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Words like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In contrast' can help improve flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Rather than general statements, include statistics, studies, or specific situations that exemplify your argument.
task achievement
Reduce grammatical errors and typos to make the essay more readable and professional. For example, 'pricipal' should be 'principal' and 'instane' should be 'instance.' Use spell check and grammar tools if needed.
task achievement
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a balanced discussion of both views.
task achievement
Your writing shows an understanding of the topic, and you make an effort to discuss different influences on child's development.
coherence cohesion
You maintain a formal tone throughout the essay, which is appropriate for academic writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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