In Britain, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In countries like Britain, old
people
prefer to go to old age Use synonyms
homes
that are run by Use synonyms
Use synonyms
government
and these Add an article
the government
homes
have nurses to take care of the aged persons. I think that the Use synonyms
government
must pay for these Use synonyms
homes
to provide a safe and secure environment for the elderly Use synonyms
people
at least to a minimum standards. In Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
essay
I have provided the reasons Add a comma
essay,
for
why the Change preposition
apply
government
must Use synonyms
runs
these Change the verb form
run
homes
.
If you consider any developed economy Use synonyms
such
as the United Kingdom, an average person pays up to 30% of their income as a tax to the Linking Words
government
. These higher taxes are charged Use synonyms
on
the citizens to provide a better quality of life. I have seen many old Change preposition
to
people
who are living Use synonyms
in
the streets because they do not have any income and the social security paid by the Change preposition
on
government
is not sufficient to cover their medical expenses and to afford a home. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I think these Linking Words
homes
operated by the state Use synonyms
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
necessary
support Add an article
the necessary
that is
required by Linking Words
the
older Correct article usage
apply
people
and the Use synonyms
government
in turn justifies the tax it has collected from a person.
Nowadays, if you notice any family, all members are not fully available to Use synonyms
takecare
of their grandparents. These old ones have to manage themselves all alone Correct your spelling
take care
untill
the family members Correct your spelling
until
comes
back from work or school in the evening. The mental health of these old Correct subject-verb agreement
come
people
is negatively impacted by being lonely and they start suffering from mental illness. I have seen Use synonyms
this
happening to my grandmother and the doctors advised us to send her to Linking Words
a
old age home because they can be with other Change the article
an
people
of their age to share their emotions and to get the required attention. Use synonyms
This
significantly helped to improve her health.
As I explained above, we have to consider the fact that the global population is getting older and Linking Words
these kind
of Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
homes
and support systems must be operated by the state to provide Use synonyms
a
equitable and safe future when we all get older.Change the article
an
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task achievement
Consider providing a clear and concise thesis statement. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, helping the reader to understand the direction of your essay upfront.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly indicate the main idea of the paragraph. This helps in improving coherence and guiding the reader through your points smoothly.
task achievement
Try to develop each main point with more detail and explanation. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task response
Don’t forget to review grammar and sentence structure. A few grammatical errors and awkward phrases can detract from the overall clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Conclude with a summary of the key points made in your essay, reinforcing your main argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task well, offering a position on who should pay for the care of the elderly and supporting this with reasons and examples.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples from your knowledge and experience, which helps to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.