In Britain, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In countries like Britain, old
people
prefer to go to old age
homes
that are run by
government
Add an article
the government
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and these
homes
have nurses to take care of the aged persons. I think that the
government
must pay for these
homes
to provide a safe and secure environment for the elderly
people
at least to a minimum standards. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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I have provided the reasons
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why the
government
must
runs
Change the verb form
run
show examples
these
homes
. If you consider any developed economy
such
as the United Kingdom, an average person pays up to 30% of their income as a tax to the
government
. These higher taxes are charged
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the citizens to provide a better quality of life. I have seen many old
people
who are living
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the streets because they do not have any income and the social security paid by the
government
is not sufficient to cover their medical expenses and to afford a home.
Therefore
, I think these
homes
operated by the state
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
necessary
Add an article
the necessary
show examples
support
that is
required by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
and the
government
in turn justifies the tax it has collected from a person. Nowadays, if you notice any family, all members are not fully available to
takecare
Correct your spelling
take care
of their grandparents. These old ones have to manage themselves all alone
untill
Correct your spelling
until
the family members
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
back from work or school in the evening. The mental health of these old
people
is negatively impacted by being lonely and they start suffering from mental illness. I have seen
this
happening to my grandmother and the doctors advised us to send her to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
old age home because they can be with other
people
of their age to share their emotions and to get the required attention.
This
significantly helped to improve her health. As I explained above, we have to consider the fact that the global population is getting older and
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of
homes
and support systems must be operated by the state to provide
a
Change the article
an
show examples
equitable and safe future when we all get older.
Submitted by msrinivas7866 on

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task achievement
Consider providing a clear and concise thesis statement. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, helping the reader to understand the direction of your essay upfront.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly indicate the main idea of the paragraph. This helps in improving coherence and guiding the reader through your points smoothly.
task achievement
Try to develop each main point with more detail and explanation. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task response
Don’t forget to review grammar and sentence structure. A few grammatical errors and awkward phrases can detract from the overall clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Conclude with a summary of the key points made in your essay, reinforcing your main argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task well, offering a position on who should pay for the care of the elderly and supporting this with reasons and examples.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples from your knowledge and experience, which helps to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
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