Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In life,
people
often face challenging situations such
as having an unsatisfying job. There are some people
believing that accepting these cases is practical, whilst others argue that trying to improve them is better, leading to personal development. In this
essay, l will delve into both viewpoints before giving my opinion.On the one
hand, acceptance of challengeable
Replace the word
challenging
condition
sometimes can be Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
more
pragmatic hypothesis Correct article usage
a more
in
Change preposition
apply
the
view Correct article usage
apply
of
a few reasons. Change preposition
for
Firstly
, certain people
have no opportunity or ability to alter their condition straightforward
. Change the word
straightforwardly
For example
, one
whose work is dissatisfying but pays good
salary can't strive for something better because of keeping financial stability. Enduring the circumstances Correct article usage
a good
also
may soothe the stress and anxiety, helping individuals to focus on the positive aspects of their lives.On the other hand
, people
with more enthusiasm about
betterment are more likely to be successful. Change preposition
for
Therefore
, trying to get better, in most cases, could be the indicator of being celebrity
. Add an article
a celebrity
For instance
, people
with unsatisfaction tend to work on the
weak sides Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
theirs
or attend Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
night Change preposition
apply
course
to gain new skills, it is what directs to better prosperity. Fix the agreement mistake
courses
Additionally
, struggling for improvement enhances one
's personal and professional experience, giving more potential to
Change preposition
for
better
job.In my opinion, striving for development with passion is Add an article
a better
much
more pragmatic approach. Correct article usage
a much
Hence
, the more one
tries to evolve in any field, the less potential to be in a poor lifestyle they have.In conclusion, both views might also
have merits, depending on mindset
of individuals. Add an article
the mindset
However
, striving to come along can offer more benefits, leading to more potential prosperity in life.Submitted by shakhzod0905 on
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task achievement
To improve your Task Response, you should provide more relevant specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly. Using linking words and phrases can help to guide the reader through your arguments and illustrate the connection between ideas more clearly.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both viewpoints, and your opinion is clear and well-articulated.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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