Nowadays a growing number of boys and girls within normal weight ranges have an intense fear of gaining weight and therefore get anorexia. Why do you think a lot of teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny? What can be done to prevent this eating disorder?
These days many
of
boys and girls despite having a normal Change preposition
apply
weigth
, Correct your spelling
weight
they
are afraid of gaining some Correct pronoun usage
apply
weights
on their Fix the agreement mistake
weight
body
. That causes a disease called Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
anxoeria
. There are many reasons for the illness to exist which Correct your spelling
anorexia
names
Wrong verb form
are called
anorexia
. Many teenagers would rather have a slim body than an overweight one. This
may be due to
accepted truths, fear of the bullied and friends
and family pressure.
Firstly
of all
if we look at the meaning of the term, Add a comma
all,
anxoeria
is an eating Correct your spelling
anorexia
disorder
. Day
after day
the
eating Correct article usage
apply
disorder
are much Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
popular
and Correct word choice
more common
much
dangerous Fix the agreement mistake
apply
situation
.Today, many young Fix the agreement mistake
situations
people
see themselves as overweight because of the weight imposed on them. The teenages
who think that they are overweight suddenly stop eating and drinking anything. Correct your spelling
teenagers
This
leads to many diseases in young people
who do not eat for days on end.
Young people
are affraid
of the bullying of family or Correct your spelling
afraid
friends
. Because of that many young people
can not make their own decisions about what are they eating. For
example
the Add a comma
example,
teenage
go outside Correct your spelling
teenagers
some
Change preposition
with some
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
of
Change preposition
apply
them
, Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct word choice
and feels
feels
dependent on Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
this
Change the word
their
friend
for eating and drinking. If their Fix the agreement mistake
friends
friends
do not eating
anything, they do not eat either. Change the verb form
eat
As a
result
it caused what Add a comma
result,
named
Wrong verb form
is called
anorexia
.
Finally
preventing eating disorders is important. One of the best things that can be done to prevent this
eating disorder
is to make the person with the eating disorder
feel that you will be there for them no matter what and Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
or Correct your spelling
government
chairites
makes some seminars or Correct your spelling
charities
charity
course
for Fix the agreement mistake
courses
the
Correct article usage
apply
anorexia
.
İn conclusion these days many teenages
think about their Correct your spelling
teenagers
looking
or their weight because of the fear of bullying,Replace the word
looks
friends
and family pressure and accepted truhts
. That caused Correct your spelling
threats
eating
Correct article usage
an eating
disorder
which
named Correct pronoun usage
apply
anorexia
. People
must work to prevent this
eating disorder
disease because the number of young people
affected by this
disease is increasing day
by day
.Submitted by taylanpolat6124 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly organized. Using clear topic sentences and transitions can help improve the logical flow of your essay.
overall
Be mindful of grammatical errors and sentence structure issues. Proofreading your essay can help you catch and correct these mistakes.
task achievement
Expand on the reasons why teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny. You could mention the influence of media, social media, and celebrity culture.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is strong, but make sure it succinctly summarizes your main points and provides a final thought or recommendation.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and provides a general overview of the issue.
overall
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing why teenagers desire to be skinny and what can be done to prevent anorexia.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is effective in summarizing the main points and restating the importance of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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