You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of it's own . Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter ● introduce yourself ● say why you are interested in this sports club ● ask some questions about about the club e.g. facilities, members, costs.

#course #college #sports #facilities #manager #club #questions #e #g #members #costs

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Dear Sir or Madam I'

writing to ask

information

Change preposition

for information

show examples

about your

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

clubs. My name is Umida and I have been a student for three months in

this

university. I have never taken part in

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

clubs but I'

interested in volleyball.

Last

year I took part in

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

Games with my classmates and we won. I think

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I have

ability

Add an article

the ability

show examples

sport

because my school teachers and friends told me that. I'

interested in

this

sport clubs

Fix the agreement mistake

sports club

show examples

because I love volleyball. In the future, I want to be

volleyball

Correct article usage

a volleyball

show examples

player. I guess there are a lot of

master

Fix the agreement mistake

masters

show examples

in here. I really

want

Add the particle

want to

show examples

learn many things from

teachers

Correct article usage

the teachers

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

here. How many students

Add a missing verb

are in

show examples

here? How much costs? I have some requirements for

club

Add an article

the club

show examples

Firstly

I know I'

the best player so you

need

Add the particle

need to

show examples

encourage me .

This

is because God

give

Wrong verb form

gave

show examples

ability

Add an article

the ability

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

sport

. I promise

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I'll try to win all

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

Games.

Secondly

, I need well-balanced foods because I need vitamins and nutrients. I look forward to receiving a prompt reply. Yours faithfully Umida

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Sun Aug 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

suitable writing tone

Improve the formality and politeness of the tone, especially when making requests or talking about your abilities. Consider softening phrases and being more humble.

single idea per paragraph

Ensure each paragraph addresses a single idea clearly and coherently. For example, paragraph 3 could focus solely on the introduction of your interest and background in volleyball, and another separate paragraph could outline your inquiries about the club.

complete response

The letter effectively introduces the writer and their interest in volleyball, which is the main focus of the communication.

greeting and closing

The greeting and closing are appropriate and standard for a formal letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

178 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, wave and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens eat a healthy diet. Others believe that individuals must take responsibility for their own diet and health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that finding a job satisfaction is considered the most important thing for the young generation nowadays. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly pepole.