Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favor of them? Use examples to support your opinion.

There is no doubt, that some
people
captivated
Add a missing verb
are captivated
show examples
by having
dangerouse
Correct your spelling
dangerous
hobbies
such
as diving or
motocycling
Correct your spelling
motorcycling
. I am not
fan
Add an article
a fan
show examples
of those activities and believe that
this
phenomenon has negative
developmend
Correct your spelling
development
developments
.
To begin
with, as for
disadvantage
Correct article usage
the disadvantage
show examples
of
dangerouse
Correct your spelling
dangerous
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
practicing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
on health will be considered.
For instance
, every year
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Everest kills many alpinists,
houndreds
Correct your spelling
hundreds
of
motocyclists
Correct your spelling
motorcyclists
die in Almaty; many parkourusts were injured
last
year around the world.
This
is because, some
people
nead
Correct your spelling
need
adrenalin, the
hourmon
Correct your spelling
hormone
hormones
which
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
show examples
when somebody
fill
Change the verb form
fills
show examples
fear.
Moreover
, when the death is close, adrenalin is higher. Alternatively, the safe experience of diving
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
climbing will not be so attractive for exiting fillings hunters.
In addition
, there are many other
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
activities where
energy
Add an article
the energy
show examples
of adrenalin hunters could be implemented.
For example
, firefighters walk close to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
death
evry
Correct your spelling
every
day;
however
, their work
crucial
Add a missing verb
is crucial
show examples
for local
comunities
Correct your spelling
communities
,
those
Correct word choice
and those
show examples
people
rescue many lives. It is hard to deny, that many official jobs give responsibilities to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small, so
evrebody
Correct your spelling
everybody
may find the scale of fear that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to be overcome.
As a result
, individuals who yearn for
exiting
Correct your spelling
exciting
show examples
moments may bring
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact on other
people
who live with them. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I can not accept practicing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dangerous activities in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
light of the
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
possibility to be
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
injured or,
moreover
,
die
Wrong verb form
dying
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
individuals who can work close to death, and
adrinalin
Correct your spelling
adrenalin
adrenaline
hunters should look at those
apportiunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, consider expanding the range of examples and explanations to better support your arguments. Ensure each idea is clearly developed and fully addressed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer and more logical structure. Ensure each paragraph is focused on a single main point and transitions smoothly into the next paragraph.
task achievement
Work on your language accuracy, particularly focusing on grammar, spelling, and word choice, to make your essay clearer and more professional.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be further refined for clarity and coherence. Ensure they effectively frame your main points.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have made an effort to provide relevant examples to support your points, which adds value to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adrenaline rush
  • Thrill-seeker
  • Personal growth
  • Self-confidence
  • Social interaction
  • Like-minded individuals
  • Skill development
  • Concentration
  • Coordination
  • Discipline
  • Risk management
  • Safety awareness
  • Mental barriers
  • Challenge
  • Stress-relieving
What to do next:
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