Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measure can be done to address those problems?

it is commonly believed, that I am sharing a
room
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with another student
Additionally
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I am grateful for sharing a
room
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with another student.
However
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, Every time I came back from school
moreover
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I saw my roommate had parties every day when I finished classes school
although
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he invited friends from school to come into the
room
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as well it made me annoyed that I could not do my homework and they made a louder sound in a
room
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it makes me can not rest, I would like to report about my roommate she has not followed the rules. to be sure
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, I request assistance from the hostel warden it is displeasure for me please you can discontinue the conflict before
this
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colossal issue is humorous and able to control it
also
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Thank you for considering
This
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proposal. I look forward to your feedback. Wishing you a speedy recovery. Best regards

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coherence cohesion
Your essay contains ideas that are not well-organized; consider using paragraphs to structure your thoughts more clearly. Start with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs for each main point, and end with a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a formal tone throughout your essay; avoid using overly informal language. Also, ensure consistency in your verb tenses.
task achievement
Introduce your problem clearly in the opening paragraph and provide concrete examples and detailed explanations in the body paragraphs to better support your points.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to eliminate grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. Consider breaking down long, convoluted sentences into shorter, more readable ones.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and presented the primary issue related to your roommate's behavior, which is a good starting point for your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are a few instances where you have demonstrated effort in expressing your thoughts and feelings, which adds a personal touch to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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