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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?

#internet #matter #hand #people #statements
It seems that the
internet
 plays a big role in our lives nowadays. Since it can be accessed from anywhere, I believe that it helps us to be in touch with others.
However
, it
also
 affects relations between
people
 as it can either maintain contact or separate us from others. Many would state that the
internet
 allows us to use it for several purposes, one of those is to stay connected with families, close friends or some other
people
 since we can use it anytime we desire. Society has changed a lot distinctly in the past years, transformed by the
internet
.
According to
 how earlier
people
 communicated with one another remotely, sending letters, sending messages through telegraphs which takes time, it can be done in a minute these days. Texting platforms are used in between communities as they can conveniently spread news to stick them together even if the members are from different parts of the world. Alternatively, some are using it for entertainment,
such
 as online games. I find it quite risky that those activities can cause a lack of social experiences. Some
people
 would argue that the virtual world can be used to find friends but on the opposite side, it can create poor connections between those and their real-life friends or families. In conclusion, the pros and cons of the topic of connection among individuals are provided by using the
internet
. It can both tighten and loosen the bonds between
people
 depending on how we use it.
Submitted by kantimangamsuay on

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task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of the internet. However, providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, transitioning between your ideas could be improved. Make sure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and succinct. You could enhance the conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which contributes to its readability.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and relevant to the topic. The discussion on both sides of the argument shows a balanced approach.
task achievement
The language used is appropriate and mostly free of grammatical errors, aiding in communication.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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