Nowadays, some people like to give help to the local community. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. Discuss both methods and give your own opinion on which is better.
Today
, some individuals
prefer to offer assistance to their immediate constituency, whereas
others opt to donate to their countries', or multinational, aid organisations. Whilst giving a helping hand to matters concerning one
's community is, indeed, a noble and beneficial effort, it cannot be denied that, due to
their standardised and regulated nature, the overall
impact of contributing to charities is likely to be more profound for those in need.
On the one
hand, assisting with the needs of one
's immediate vicinity is, undoubtedly, a highly beneficial act of kindness. Volunteering at a local hospice, purchasing necessities for the homeless, or helping offer specialized education to underpriveledged
youths are all highly impactful ways of contributing to the development of Correct your spelling
underprivileged
one
's community. By partaking in efforts like these, individuals
can not only assist those in need,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
contribute to the development of their own town. For instance
, many individuals
today
prefer to attend regular charity events organised by their local church or mosque, like establishing soup kitchens. Yet, even though these efforts are kind and impactful, their benefits cannot be compared to making donations to regulated charities.
On the other hand
, many support national or international charities. This
is, undoubtedly, a better approach as the payments given to these are not only monitored to ensure they have the biggest positive impact as
possibleChange preposition
apply
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
allow people to contribute to more pressing concerns that are not in their immediate area. By donating to nonprofits, like Doctors Without Borders, individuals
can ensure their funds are being put to use effectively. For example
, many famous philantrophists
of Correct your spelling
philanthropists
today
, like Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates, prefer to utilize nonprofits like World Wildlife Foundation for their charity efforts.
To sum up
, in today
's world, many often vaccilate
between assisting locally or contributing to not-for-profit organisations. Correct your spelling
vacillate
vacillated
While
the former is also
an effective effort, it must be stated that the overall
effect and scope of the latter is
much more profound.Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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relevant specific examples
You provided a well-balanced discussion of both methods (local assistance vs. national/international donations). However, try to provide more detailed examples or case studies to make your points even stronger.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a balanced view and includes an effective introduction and conclusion, connecting ideas smoothly and logically.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas are expressed clearly and effectively, showing a high level of language proficiency. The essay is well-structured and easy to follow.
supported main points
Main points are supported with relevant examples, making the argument more persuasive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?