Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures

Nowadays, most

Change preposition

apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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felons after serving their time in jail tend to break more laws. There are several causes contributing to

this

trend,

as well as

some solutions to

this

matter.

To begin

with, many individuals find it hard to accept ex-inmates into society

due to

the social stigma.

Not to mention

, job opportunities that might be difficult for those with criminal records. On top of that, housing and other loan

also

become tiresome.

This

results in more crime

will be occurred

Wrong verb form

occurring

show examples

in order to provide for themselves or their families.

In addition

, people with mental health issues or addiction problems

also

can commit more sinners because of a lack of

support

in the communities.

For instance

, a person with a mental disorder, namely bipolar will act differently from normal people because they are not stable.

Subsequently

this

leads to more

violent

Replace the word

violence

show examples

On the other hand

, the government plays a big role in ensuring the safety of people in the country.

Therefore

, rehabilitation programs must be provided to those ex-convicts so that they can improve and change, meanwhile helping them reintegrate into society.

Next,

the authority should

also

establish a job scheme for ex-inmates. By doing

this

, both parties will have their benefits and illegal acts can be reduced.

Lastly

, the family and the public

support

are

also

vital,

thus

this

can help a person to overcome their past.

For example

, a former felon named Jeff Henderson who has served a decade in prison for cocaine is now known as a famous chef in Las Vegas.

Therefore

support

and love can change a person. In conclusion,

Correct article usage

the lacks

show examples

lacks

Correct subject-verb agreement

lack

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support

, the social stigma that leads to

absence

Add an article

the absence

an absence

show examples

of a career and mental illness, all can be managed with the aid of the government, family, and the public.

Therefore

, It is important to be taken care of before more crimes are committed and for the safety of the population.

Submitted by tifjong on Sun Aug 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to arrange your points in a clear and logical sequence. Including clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs can make your arguments easier to follow. For example, the paragraph about mental health could be linked more clearly to how lack of support leads to reoffending.

task achievement

While your essay is comprehensive, expanding on some points with more detailed explanations and examples can strengthen your response. For instance, elaborating more on how social stigma affects ex-convicts would add depth to your essay.

task achievement

You've addressed both parts of the question thoroughly, examining both reasons for reoffending and suggesting measures to tackle it.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
rehabilitation programs
social stigma
ex-convicts
reintegration
support systems
mental health issues
addiction problems
criminal networks
incarceration

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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Q. The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

International travel brings benefits to travellers and the countries visited, but it also harms for the environment. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

You had a problem while staying at a hotel and the receptionist was very helpful. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter, – describe the problem that you had – explain how the receptionist helped you – suggest ways to prevent the problem from happening again.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+