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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the reasons that cause stress, and effects

It is an irrefutable fact that, in the contemporary world,
stress
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 become the main barrier
to
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apply
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. the growth of different countries.
Such
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 a trend comes with
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
problems
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, which demand immediate consideration.
This
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 essay will analyze the reasons like the
competition
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 level and the high inflation and the impact of these
problems
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 on human beings
such
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 as mental health issues in the upcoming paragraphs
along with
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 examples. To commence with, there are numerous reasons behind
stress
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. The first and foremost cause of
stress
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 is a high level of
competition
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 in the market. To explain, today's world
known
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is known
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 for its
competition
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, everyone competes with each other just to get better opportunities as the job applications are more in comparison to the occupation vacancies.
According to
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 one survey
of
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by
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 the Indian Times, nowadays more than 40%
people
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of people
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 are under
stress
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, individually
due to
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 their competitors who are creating barriers to their growth.
In addition
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 to that, high inflation is
also
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 creating mental pressure on the individual mind because they are facing issues for their survival,
due to
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 the high
last
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 of basic items.
As a result
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, a lot of concerns are measured in different areas.
Firstly
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,
stress
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 creates many health
problems
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. To be more detailed,people who are taking
stress
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 usually face heart attack
problems
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as well as
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 mental health issues like depression. As per research by the Cambridge University of . BC, around 28% of people in Canada die every year because of heart attacks.
Secondly
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, it impacts the entire growth of any country because any nation can only become successful if the individuals of that country are mentally healthy and able to come up with better creations.
To conclude
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, there are many causes behind
stress
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 like the high cost of living and
competition
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 for employment which have
Correct article usage
a hug
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hug
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huge
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.. impact on the
overall
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 well-being of human beings - and the development of any part of
this
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 world
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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task response
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss without any ambiguity. Avoid unnecessary words and keep sentences concise.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a logical sequence in your essay. Organize your ideas into separate paragraphs for reasons and effects. This will help improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a single main idea supported with relevant examples. Sometimes, the examples did not clearly support the points made.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main points and reiterates the key ideas, providing a sense of closure.
task response
The essay successfully addresses both reasons behind stress and the effects it has, providing a balanced discussion.
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