Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that modern
technology
development
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a critical role in the ratio of crimes.
While
it is a commonly held belief that
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
improvement declined crime, there is
also
an argument that opposes it because they
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
technology
shore
Fix the agreement mistake
shores
show examples
up the level of
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
.
This
essay will analyze
this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
technology
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
such
as mobile phones spare awareness information for users to protect their
data
and privacy.
In other words
, most hackers demand to steal bank
data
from users by sharing a variety of links containing bugs and wrong links.
In addition
, there are numerous inventions that have a significant impact on individuals' lives that increase safety and control.
For example
, camera security recordings have a new version that can connect with police officers,
this
technology
plays a vital role in diminishing thieves and crimes.
On the other hand
, there is a variety of unique
technology
Fix the agreement mistake
technologies
show examples
that can pose a danger for both society and individuals
such
as drones. It is
also
possible to say that terrorist groups utilize
this
technology
to smuggle prohibited drugs and explosives.
Moreover
, these terrorist groups take social media as a method to follow the target including location and personal
data
and
that is
what various platforms provide for the public.
For instance
, a new study shared by the digital media department of the University of Leeds provides
data
that shows social media platforms
play
Wrong verb form
have played
show examples
a significant role in increasing the crime percentage by about 68% since 2017. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that the development of
technology
has decreased the crime rate, despite the disadvantages of the improvement of
technology
, it has a remarkable impact on our lives. t
Submitted by zaidamrat5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question prompt are fully addressed. In this case, adding more detailed analysis or examples for each viewpoint can strengthen the task response.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas to enhance clarity. For example, reiterating similar points about technology in different sections can be avoided.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using more varied and appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas. This will make your essay flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the use of mobile phones and social media, are provided to support the main points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • surveillance
  • forensic science
  • cybercrime
  • data theft
  • anonymity
  • illicit activities
  • law enforcement
  • jurisdictions
  • crime prevention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: