IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The diagram belows the process of producing bottled and canned carbonate drinks.

#belows #process #carbonate #drinks
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The map illustrates the way in which canned and bottled carbonated drinks are produced.
Overall
Linking Words
, The chart illustrates the 5 various sessions of producing containers and canned carbonated beverages and ending with packaging. The first stage covers several steps, the
water
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is
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the main element in the process of manufacturing
corbonated
Correct your spelling
carbonated
 drinks.
Initially
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 is passed through a filter, and it flows to all large
container
Fix the agreement mistake
containers
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 where
water
Use synonyms
 softener and chemicals are added to it. In the subsequent
phase
Add a comma
phase,
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 the liquid is pumped to an electric heater that it experiences heat treatment. Prior to
heated
Replace the word
heating
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water
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
is
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 placed into an immense container
where
Rephrase
apply
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that is
Linking Words
 cooled by
pipe
Correct article usage
a pipe
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 and carbon dioxide is added to the liquid
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 flows toward the mixing tank where other ingredients are added
to
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as colouring, syrup and flavour. All elements are
mixing
Wrong verb form
mixed
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 by stirring and it is filtered. The fresh carbonate liquid is
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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packed in bottles and cans.
Finally
Linking Words
, it is delivered to supermarkets for consumption.

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grammar
Be sure to double-check your essay for typos and grammatical mistakes, such as 'corbonated' instead of 'carbonated.'
cohesion
Improve the flow between sentences by using more cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' 'Additionally').
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the diagram are described and clearly explain every stage. Add more specific detail where necessary.
task achievement
Your essay covers all the stages of the process, from initial filtering of water to the final bottling and distribution.
coherence
The essay maintains a logical sequence of steps in the process, which makes it easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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