IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

What differentiates those who view money as less important in their work from others, according to the text?

#money #work #text
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
has
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have
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 social interaction
of
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apply
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having a job is just to earn money. But for some
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 money is not
important
Rephrase
as important
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 as compare to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 contribution towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scoiety
Correct your spelling
society
.Let me share an example of my father,
although
 he is not very rich
but
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apply
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his friends ,family and
relative
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relatives
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 respect him because of his contribution towards
the
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apply
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society as he is a doctor and he
serve
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serves
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patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
 with very affordable fees.
Submitted by shahroz99dev on

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introduction conclusion present
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to structure your essay better. For instance, start with a sentence that introduces the topic of people’s motivations for working, and end with a summary of your main points.
logical structure
Ensure your essay follows a logical structure. Consider organizing your thoughts in paragraphs, each discussing a specific aspect of the topic.
supported main points
Expand on your example to add more detail and make your points clearer. Explain why your father finds satisfaction in his work beyond monetary reward. This will help in supporting your main points more effectively.
relevant specific examples
Your essay provides a relevant specific example, making it more relatable and easy to understand.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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