IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Introduce yourselfExplain the situation Say what action you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #yourselfexplain #situation #action
Der Sir or Madam My name is John Smith, a faithful customer who has been shopping from your outlet for the
last
 8 years. I am writing to report the faulty
of
Change preposition
apply
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camera
 which I have purchased from your shop on Maitama road, Abuja a two weeks ago. I got the Nokia
camera
 fully paid for on the 23rd of
august
Capitalize word
August
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. I was very assured
while
 buying the
camera
, but can you imagine my feelings after coming home and finding out
what
Correct word choice
that
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 the
camera
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 not working properly
.
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?
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Nevertheless
, I have returned the
camera
 and have asked
about
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for
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 refund, but
still
Add a comma
still,
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 they have not repaired the cost of the
camera
. It's been a week ago now,
this
 action is not acceptable and abhorrent. I demand a quick refund or a replacement of the
camera
 by the company as soon as possible or I will take legal action. I look forward to hearing from you within a week. Yours faithfully, Sherali
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Ensure to proofread your letter carefully for grammar and spelling errors. For example, 'Dear Sir or Madam' instead of 'Der Sir or Madam', and 'faulty camera' instead of 'faulty of camera'.
task achievement
Try to be a bit more polite and professional when requesting actions. Phrases like "I kindly request..." can soften the approach.
coherence cohesion
Consider dividing the letter into clear paragraphs to make it easier to follow. For example, one paragraph for introduction, one for explaining the situation, and one for the requested action.
task achievement
The introduction effectively states who you are and your history with the company, which adds weight to your complaint.
task achievement
You have clearly explained the problem and what you would like the company to do to resolve it.
coherence cohesion
The closing is strong and effectively communicates urgency.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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