IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

ou have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: • Introduce yourself • Explain the situation • Say what action you would like the company to take

#ou #camera #home #company #representative #week #situation #action
Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to express my dismay at the service at your company representative a week ago. I have bought a new
camera
 but when I got it home I found it had some problems that's why I want to
returned
Change the verb
return
show examples
 the
camera
 and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the
camera
 has still not been repaired.
Camera
Add an article
The camera
show examples
 was
also
 unsatisfactory. I want to you repair my
camera
 or replace the new one. I hope you can take steps to make sure
this
 mistake does not happen again. Yours faithfully, Ibodullayev Diyorbek
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
The letter should provide more details about the problems with the camera and the date of purchase to give a clearer context.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a single clear idea. Combining information before and after the interaction with one paragraph will improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
While the basic structure is there, better organization of the points would improve logical flow. Start with an introductory paragraph, a detailed explanation of the issue, the interaction with the representative, and then state your desired action.
task achievement
The letter introduces the purpose of writing clearly.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is formal and suitable for the context.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear greeting and closing, which are appropriate for a formal letter.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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