ou have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: • Introduce yourself • Explain the situation • Say what action you would like the company to take

#ou #camera #home #company #representative #week #situation #action

Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to express my dismay at the service at your company representative a week ago. I have bought a new

camera

but when I got it home I found it had some problems that's why I want to

returned

Change the verb

return

show examples

the

camera

and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the

camera

has still not been repaired.

Camera

Add an article

The camera

show examples

was

also

unsatisfactory. I want to you repair my

camera

or replace the new one. I hope you can take steps to make sure

this

mistake does not happen again. Yours faithfully, Ibodullayev Diyorbek

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Mon Aug 05 2024

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task achievement

The letter should provide more details about the problems with the camera and the date of purchase to give a clearer context.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a single clear idea. Combining information before and after the interaction with one paragraph will improve clarity.

coherence cohesion

While the basic structure is there, better organization of the points would improve logical flow. Start with an introductory paragraph, a detailed explanation of the issue, the interaction with the representative, and then state your desired action.

task achievement

The letter introduces the purpose of writing clearly.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is formal and suitable for the context.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear greeting and closing, which are appropriate for a formal letter.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

99 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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