IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems.You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but camera has still no been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: ●Introduce yourself ●Explain the situation ●Say what action you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #●introduce #●explain #situation #●say #action
Dear sir or madam I am writing to express my
dissapointment
Correct your spelling
disappointment
 with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 camera that I bought it from your store a few weeks ago. My name is Raxmon Kamolov and I have been a regular customer of your company for many months and I often purchase soo many electronic
equipments
Change the wording
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 from your store. I would
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 many of my
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 to use
this
 store. The first thing I would like to draw your attention to
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 camera that I bought
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 weeks ago is not working very well.
Then
 I contact the office manager about
this
 mistake.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 they did not do anything. I would
be
Wrong verb form
appreciate
show examples
appreaciate
Correct your spelling
appreciate
 it if you could give me a full
refound
Correct your spelling
refund
show examples
 or replace my camera and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to have a punishment with your managers I look forward to your reply and
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
 my problem. Raxmon Kamolov Yours faithfully
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Focus on more specific details about the problem with the camera. For example, mention what specific problem has occurred and how it affects the use of the camera.
coherence cohesion
Improve the clarity of your request. Instead of 'punishment with your managers,' perhaps say 'address the issue with your managerial staff to ensure better customer service in the future.'
task achievement
You have effectively introduced yourself and described your history as a regular customer, which strengthens the context of your complaint.
greeting and closing
The opening and closing lines of your letter are polite and appropriate for a formal letter.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: