IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sport centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre In your letter ●describe what the problem with the changing rooms is ●say what happened the last times you complained ●explain what you want the manager to do

#rooms #sport #centre #visit #times #success #manager #sports #●describe #●say #●explain
Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to
complaint
Replace the word
complain
show examples
about problems with changing rooms in your sports centre in London. When I went to your
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 centre, I realized that there are enough technologies for doing
sport
 and
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
 goals in
Add an article
the sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 industry.
However
, I want to tell
about
Correct pronoun usage
you about
show examples
 your changing
room
.
Firstly
, it was very small and that's why I
feel like
Wrong verb form
felt
show examples
 uncomfortable. Because there were a lot of girls in
changing
Correct article usage
the changing
show examples
room
.
Secondly
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
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 a lack of clothes racks
that is
 to say not enough.
Last
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 when I went to
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 centre , I didn't find racks to put my clothes
and
Change preposition
on and
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 I
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 to put my things in my own car.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I have already complained several times, nothing has been done yet. I want
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
change
Fix the infinitive
to change
show examples
room
Correct article usage
the room
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 another
room
 or make it bigger
due to
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
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. And I would be grateful
there
Correct word choice
if there
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 more clothes racks so people wouldn't have problems with each other. I look forward to your reply and resolution to my problem. Yours faithfully Shodiyona
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
The letter is a bit disjointed in terms of the logical structure. It is advisable to clearly separate each concern into distinct paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
Include specific examples or instances to support your complaints. This can provide more context and make your concerns more compelling.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed the problems with the changing rooms and your previous complaints.
suitable writing tone
The tone is mostly suitable for a formal complaint letter, maintaining a polite and respectful tone throughout.
greeting and closing
You included a greeting and a closing, which makes your letter look more complete.

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