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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that history has little or nothing to offer, while others say that study of history help us underatand the present.

#people #history #offer #study #underatand
People
 have different views as to whether studying
history
 is a futile pursuit or whether learning
history
 plays an integral role in providing better concepts to understand
the
Correct article usage
apply
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in
Change preposition
apply
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the present.
While
 there are some drawbacks to being aware of historical information associated with a period of time, I believe that its potential benefits can weigh a greater weight. These days, learning
history
 often seems like a futile pursuit for a lot of
people
, which means that it usually takes more effort and time to accomplish
history
 tasks.
This
 subject requires students to learn several memory skills,
such
 as data, old names, and similar events, which makes it far more difficult to learn.
In addition
,
history
 has nothing to do with modern issues, meaning that the
overall
 lifestyle of
people
 now can
have
Verb problem
be
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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difference
Replace the word
different
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interms
Correct your spelling
in terms
 of living
such
 as eating habits, movement and learning from that of
people
 who lived before.
Therefore
, the role of learning
history
 has less impact on us
as a result
.
However
, historical understanding can yield valuable outcomes for every individual, which students can cultivate in their minds and fill with knowledge
that is
 not only important to mitigate issues in their everyday lives based on the experiences of elderly
people
,
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 but can
also
 help them grow wise.
While
 doing so, they can find it easy to cope with problems,
coupled with
 encouraging them to be good at understanding what is right and wrong. In conclusion,
although
 learning
history
 may seem to have nothing to do with our current lives
due to
 its lack of effect, I do admit that its potential benefits can have greater outcomes for everybody.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Expand on your arguments with more specific examples to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Try to make your main points clearer by offering more comprehensive ideas in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious of repetitive sentence structures; use a variety of complex and compound sentences to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear and concise overview of the topic and both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Your essay does a good job of summarizing the topic and presenting your overall opinion.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay with clear transitions between paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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