Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.
These days, excessive globalisation in cities has been a serious issue.
To begin
, the legal authority and households have responsibility
to solve Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
this
problem. This
essay will discuss issues and solutions of overcrowding in the major city respectively.
The overpopulation
can lead to Correct article usage
Overpopulation
an
enormous unemployment in urban Remove the article
apply
areas
. For example
, studies said, South Korea reached 20% of the unemployment rate in Seoul. It exhibits that an overcrowding households
may yield Correct the article-noun agreement
overcrowding households
an overcrowding household
to reduce
Change the verb form
reduced
job
opportunities
because of a
high competition during Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
job
application, leading to a decrease in disposable income for individuals. Thus
, they will have a
low confidence Remove the article
apply
of
spending money on the economy, yielding to deteriorated GDP from a low spending power. Change preposition
in
Therefore
, the cycle of losing job
opportunities
will be repeated in following
years.
Correct article usage
the following
However
, this
can be solved by the legislation set by the government
. For instance
, the government
can invest on
different infrastructures Change preposition
in
such
as schools and buildings in rural areas
. This
can encourage migration
of people from urban Correct article usage
the migration
areas
to rural areas
due to
growing development. Hence
, it will create job
opportunities
in both areas
simutaneously
that Correct your spelling
simultaneously
benefits
the economy significantly. Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
Lastly
, the economy will grow in
Change preposition
apply
overall
after the intervention by the government
from an increase in aggregate demand.
In conclusion, a significant
growing population can interrupt Change the adjective
significantly
the
society from widening Correct article usage
apply
job
opportunities
, however
the Add a comma
however,
government
can resolve a solution to decrease the level of population in the main city. Overpopulaiton
is not a dramatic problem as long as the Correct your spelling
Overpopulation
government
supports from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
sufficient
budget.Correct article usage
a sufficient
Submitted by az7082687 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task adequately, identifying one major problem—unemployment due to overpopulation—and suggests a government-based solution. However, the examples and points could be better developed. Try to provide more specific examples and statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence
While your essay is generally well-organized, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, the paragraph on unemployment lacks a clear topic sentence. Additionally, the solution paragraph could conclude with a summary sentence to reinforce the argument.
cohesion
Some sentences have minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Also, be consistent in the usage of terms; for example, you alternate between 'overpopulation' and 'overcrowding.' Maintaining consistency will improve readability.
coherence
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps organize your ideas effectively.
task achievement
You address both the problem and provide a solution, showing a balanced approach to the essay topic.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...