Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Some people think it is a positive change, however others think of it as a negative change. What do you think?

These days many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility but not as much
past
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
children
. So, some think
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
agree with
this
hand.
while
there are disagree with it.
This
essay will
talk
Verb problem
apply
show examples
discuss both sides and will draw my personal opinion.
In
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On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
think
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thinking
show examples
the
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
they are deserve responsibility
to
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for
show examples
themself
for
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apply
show examples
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
. maybe they are right for
mulitlopment
Correct your spelling
multiple
reasons.
Firstly
, if they have
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
for themself they can
portection
Correct your spelling
protect
themself without any hesitation.
Secondly
, they can face adversity and
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
with courage whatever the situation
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
.
For example
, it will help them learn to be
selfreliant
Correct your spelling
self-reliant
self reliant
. So,
that is
why some think that the
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not
essaily
Correct your spelling
easily
essay
to have it and it
a
Change the article
an
show examples
increase more and more
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
and
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
will be
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
comparison past
children
of
selfreliant
Correct your spelling
self-reliant
with a lot
this
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of this
show examples
develoment
Correct your spelling
development
. On the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
hand, others think the
children
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not deserve
this
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
. for many reasons like the days not as like past
days
Add a comma
days,
show examples
all the people was kind comparison
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
should the
children
have a
littel
Correct your spelling
little
of
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
In addition
, their
parentes
Correct your spelling
parents
should take care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
kids
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
the
kids
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
much more
their
Correct word choice
than their
show examples
deserev
Correct your spelling
desire
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is nonsense.
Moreover
,
kids
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not have
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
culture about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
persone
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people
or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
which why should
to did
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not give
thier
Correct your spelling
them
more
responsiblty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsibly
.
Overall
their mind
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a small
tp
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
think about
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
things. In
concluison
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conclusion
, after analysis of both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
view
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of view
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
kids
but with care to them. all ages should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn it.
Submitted by shougaldhafere on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure: an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a single main idea which is clearly expressed in the topic sentence.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and demonstrate your ability to think critically.
task achievement
Focus on clarity of ideas. Ensure each sentence directly supports the main point of the paragraph and avoid unnecessary repetition.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to your use of language. Incorrect word choices and grammatical errors can confuse your reader and weaken your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve your use of transitional words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow of ideas. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Your attempt to consider both sides of the argument is good and shows an understanding of the topic's complexity.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which is essential for a well-structured essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points and provides your personal opinion, which is a strong way to end your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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