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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below shows a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the maps information by selecting and reporitng the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #harbour #summarise #maps #information #reporitng #features #comparisons
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The map displays the blueprint of Porth Harbour from the year 2000
along with
 the outline of
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 map.
Overall
, the major changes that took place were the introduction of new buildings
such
 as new Showers & toilets on the west side near the main
road
,and
anew
Correct your spelling
a new
show examples
 Hotel which was built by the demolition of a disused Castle.
Additionally
, some minor changes
such
 as the Car Park which was connected to the
Road
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 relocated and seen to be attached to the main
road
. In today's year, multiple docks can be seen
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
 the Public beach,
thus
 increasing the number of passenger ferries,
moreover
, the private beach located at the southern side of the map is assigned to an unknown hotel,
while
 two have interchanged their location with each other i.e., the place to store fishing boats shifted to the Northern side in place of Marina and vice versa. A new parking site is
also
 introduced in the current year attached to the main
road
, increasing the parking capacity of the Porth Harbour.
However
, the majority of the sites have remained unchanged through the years
such
 as the Public and Private beaches located on the North Eastern and Southern sides.
Submitted by patelvaibhav1463 on

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coherence cohesion
Your response could benefit from a more structured format. Dividing the essay into clear paragraphs can improve readability. For example, using one paragraph to describe the changes and another for comparisons can help.
task achievement
Make sure each main point is well-supported with specific details from the maps. Providing additional comparative language can also add depth to your analysis.
task achievement
Watch out for small grammar errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'mapped outline of todays map' and 'A new parking site is also introduced in the current year.' These can slightly detract from the overall clarity of your essay.
task achievement
You have successfully identified several key changes between the two maps, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between points are generally smooth, making it fairly easy to follow your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, which helps frame your essay and give it structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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