Some people think that schools should prioritize teaching students’ practical skills for the workplace, while others believe that schools should focus on academic subjects such as science and math. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some believe that schools must focus on delivering practical
skills
to their
students
,
while
other people would argue that they should concentrate on academic-based subjects like biology and math.
Although
basic
science
classes will increase their general
knowledge
and enhance their searchability, I believe practical
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
what they need in the
future
, because nowadays employers are searching for individuals with excellent practical abilities. On the one hand,
science
subjects will provide
students
with basic information that can be built on in the
future
. By making them aware of basic math equations and
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
discoveries, they will be able to use these rules and theories in the
future
.
This
information will answer their enquiries and help them as starting points for
further
future
research and investigation.
For example
, many great innovations like turbines started when scientists had previous
knowledge
about these appliances from their academic backgrounds.
However
I believe, academic
knowledge
will not make a big difference against practical capability.
On the other hand
, practical
knowledge
is a power these days. Major companies
are avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
any applicant
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
does not have practical experience, even if he
came
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
from a strong academic background. By providing
students
with practical information they will need in the
future
they will have a better chance to be hired.
For example
, many developed countries started delivering practical courses during summers and opened part-time job opportunities to increase
students
' practical performance. I believe in
this
way of teaching because it seems much
acceptable
Correct quantifier usage
more acceptable
show examples
in the job market these days. In conclusion,
Although
delivering basic
science
subjects to
students
will enlarge their general
knowledge
and enhance their searching
skills
, I believe these days practical
skills
are more useful
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the job market is looking for experiences and
skills
rather than degrees
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. Ensure to maintain balance by perhaps expanding a bit more on the other viewpoint for completeness.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine transitions between paragraphs a bit more to enhance the flow of your essay. Words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'In contrast,' can help to make connections clearer.
task achievement
Consider providing more varied examples or evidence to support each main point more comprehensively. This will enhance the depth of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and comprehensive structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that neatly wraps up your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly presented and supported with relevant examples, which is crucial for a high task response score.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • practical skills
  • academic subjects
  • workplace readiness
  • employability
  • real-world application
  • fundamental knowledge
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • analytical skills
  • versatile
  • adaptable
  • specialized tracks
  • career aspirations
  • curriculum
  • balanced education
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